Obama wins HEISMAN TROPHY

[La Lydia]

Miss Universe is next, followed by Miss Galaxy.

[Malone LaVeigh]

As I pointed out earlier, he is also expected to win the Stanley Cup, be crowned Miss America and gain the Triple Crown — by several lengths in each race.

No way he gets Miss America ... Rush is one of the judges.

[La Lydia]

Oh, no, I think Rush’s participation actually improves his chances!

[Mac from Cleveland]

I posted the below earlier in the year—here’s a new verse to add to it:

(Sung to the tune of “If I Only Had a Brain”)

Oh, my fame has now gone global-
I’ve finally won the Nobel
for all the things I do.
and, now, in an all-time first:
Michelle’s been crowned Miss Universe!
If you only had a clue.

People swoon when I have spoken.
I’m much more than a token,
I’m clean and articulate, too.
I’ll look tall and trim and dapper
as I lead you down the crapper
If you only had a clue.

Oh, the media had folks thinkin’
I’d be another Lincoln-
What awesome things I’d do!
But these days the press is squirmin’
‘cause I’m more like Pee Wee Herman.
If you only had a clue.

Capitalism’s what I’m hatin’
and I’m sick and tired of waitin’
for it’s heyday to be through.
So I’ll take my team of wankers
and I’ll sic ‘em on the bankers
If you only had a clue.

Reverend Wright’s the guy I follow,
my denials all were hollow-
Not a single one was true.
I act serious and wonk-y
as I stick it to the honkies
If you only had a clue.

I think Islam’s fine and dandy-
My election came in handy
for Iran—and Syria, too.
Now their muscles they’ll be flexin’
‘cause you voted by complexion
If you only had a clue.

Oh, Michelle’s a chic trendsetter-
She clearly is your better.
A Princeton graduate, too.
But you crackers best not test her-
‘cause she morphs into Aunt Esther!
If you only had a clue

I put a garden in my backyard,
And made fun of some retards,
and picked my Final Four, too.
Dee-doo-de-doo-de-doo-doo
I‘m on 60 Minutes laughin’
as the economy is crashin’
If you only had a clue.

Now I’m fixin’ and I’m changin’,
And busy re-arrangin’.
I have no need for you.
If you whine that I’m appalling
I’ll have ACORN come a ‘calling
If you only had a clue.

I’ve no intent of stoppin’
I’m gonna keep you hoppin’-
My reign you’re going to rue
You’ll be wishin’ I was Carter!
You’ll be wishin’ you’d been smarter!
If you only had a clue.

[F.J. Mitchell]

It is rumored that “O” recently won the door prize at a DC area tupper ware party.

[supremedoctrine]

“gain the Triple Crown, by several lengths in each race”.
-—I don’t think so. Robert Gibbs is the jockey.

[southland]

bookmark... He is a prime candidate for this post..
His credentials are impectable.

[christianhomeschoolmommaof3]

I nominate him “Queen of the Night”.

[christianhomeschoolmommaof3]

Lol! I sang the whole song through with the tune. That was brilliant!

[erkyl]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

North Pole. The real Santa and Mrs. Clause received eviction notice today and have been ordered to vacate the North Pole immediately so that the newly appointed Barack and Michelle Obama can begin serving immediately as the new (and improved) Santa and Mrs. Clause. The drastic move became necessary as the former Santa and Mrs. Clause continually asserted that Barack and Michelle could not possibly become Santa because of his Muslim religion. However, that notion was dismissed by the Presiding Majority Elf Leader, Nancy Pelosi, calling the former Santa and Mrs. Clause "artificial snow". "As the holiday season approaches, it was imperative to make this change quickly or face certain catastrophe in the upcoming holiday season. Imagine all the children of the world not receiving their toys because Barack and Michelle could not do their duly appointed job of being all things to all people."

Rudolph was not available for comment, but Donner and Blitzen were overheard while enjoying a carrot snack in the barn that plans were being made for a local protest amongst the former Santa and Mrs. Clause supporters. They were referring to the protest as a "Hot Chocolate Party" in reference to the time the Abominable Snowman once tried to take over, but was promptly brought down by an onslaught of angry elves hurling hot chocolate in his face. Those same elves are said to be just as angry at this latest usurping of the rightful Santa's position. Expect angry mobs and manufactured protests to ensue at the North Pole over the next several weeks.

[Mac from Cleveland]

Thanks. I think it’s funny too—but if I re-read the lyrics too closely, I get upset. It’s all too true.

[christianhomeschoolmommaof3]

Do you mind if I send your song to some of my family through email?

[Mac from Cleveland]

I’d be honored—once again, glad you like it.

[TankerKC]

A Major Prize!

[Keltik]

[Nobel_1]

number Zero wins Heisman for most Safeties allowed in a single game, in a single month, in a single season

[dfwgator]

Obama Defeats Fly Guy for Pimp of the Year.

[Condor51]

Obama also won the Gay Cowboy of the Year Award.

Barry was awardedc 1st Place in..

Bareback Bronco
Chute Dogging
Breakaway Roping
Calf Roping on Foot
Goat Dressing
Steer Decorating
(and last but not least...)
Pole Bending

These are all REAL EVENTS in the International Gay Rodeo Association

I don't even wanna know what Goat Dressing & Steer Decorating is, let alone .. 'Pole Bending'

[mojitojoe]

[christianhomeschoolmommaof3]

I sang this to some people tonight. They LOVED it! We think YOU deserve the nobel peace prize!