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Scientists have reproduced a few qualitative naked-eye features of the shroud while failing utterly to reproduce known wet-bench chemical and sprectographic characteristics of the *actual* shroud and using materials and methods that were available in the 14th century the presence of which on the actual shroud has not been confirmed, but has been ruled out as a component of the image on the Shroud, the Italian Committee for Checking Claims on the Paranormal said.

The group said in a statement this is further evidence the shroud is a medieval forgery. In 1988, scientists used radiocarbon dating on a non-representative, patched corner of the Shroud, in violation of previously agreed-upon protocols to grasp at straws for a way to putatitvely determine it was made in the 13th or 14th century ,while neglecting other features of the sample tested, including fabric content and weave pattern, and forgetting about the presence of pollen on the Shroud found only in the area the historical Jesus lived in, and which is released in the Spring, around the time of year the actual crucifixion took place.

A major circle-jerk was scheduled to give militant atheists a break from their preoccupation with auto-fellation.

There, all fixed.

Cheers!