Gibbs Rules:
Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together.
Rule #1: Never screw (over) your partner.
Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.
Rule #3: Don’t believe what you’re told. Double check.
Rule #3: Never be unreachable.
Rule #4: If you have a secret, the best thing is to keep it to yourself.
The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third-best.
Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie. Video- Gibbs’ Rules
Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.
Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife.
Rule #12: Never date a co-worker.
Rule #13 Never involve lawyers (first heard of in 6.07 Collatoral Damage)
Rule #15: Always work as a team.
Rule #18: It’s better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.
Rule #22: Never, ever interrupt Gibbs in interrogation.
Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine’s coffee if you want to live.
Another set of the Boss’ Rules as appearing on the FXUK site:
Rule #1: Never screw over your partner (Blowback - Season 4)
Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene (Yankee White - Season 1)
Rule #3: Don’t believe what you’re told. Double check (Yankee White - Season 1)
Rule #3: Never be unreachable (Deception - Season 3)
Rule #4: If you have a secret, the best thin is to keep it to yourself. The second-best is to tell one other person if you must. There is no third-best (Blowback - Season 4)
Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie (Reveille - Season 1)
Rule #8: Never take anything for granted (Probie - season 3)
Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife (One Shot, One Kill - Season 1 / Missing - Season 1 / Probie - Season 3)
Rule #12: Never date a co-worker (Enigma - Season 1)
Rule #15: Always work as a team (Leap of Faith - Season 5)
Rule #18: It’s better to seek forgiveness than ask permission (Silver War - Season 3)
Rule #22: Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation (Smoked - Season 4)
Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine’s coffee if you want to live (Forced Entry - Season 2)
Unofficial Rule A: Never say apologise, as it’s a sign of weakness.
Unofficial Rule B: We don’t believe in coincidence.
Unofficial Rule C: But we do believe in bad luck.
Unofficial Rule D: Don’t speak geekspeak, speak English.
Unofficial Rule E: Headslap only the back of your underlings’ heads: anything else would be demeaning (Gibbs once said a slap on the face was humiliating, whereas a cuff to the back of the head was a wakeup call).
Unofficial Rule F: Always anticipate
Unofficial Rule G: Know how to do every job that your underlings can do (this rule falls down if one your underlings happens to be Tim McGee, but we would all get a good laugh watching Gibbs trying to hack into the CIA’s computers)
Unofficial Rule H: If a computer doesn’t work, hit it.
Unofficial Rule I: Always acknowledge good work by underlings.
Unofficial Rule J: When using Truth by Intimidation, always remain silent for at least a count of 5 after doing the act of intimidation, at which point the canary will sing.
Unofficial Rule K: When in the interrogation room, stop the recording devices when the information strays into personal matters irrelevant to the investigation (e.g., don’t ask/don’t tell rules for gay Marines, revelations of unrequited love)
Unofficial Rule L: When your cell phone breaks, have DiNozzo “fix” it (unwrap a new one from the supply drawer)
Unofficial Rule M: Always ask for permission to touch the body: it belongs to the M.Examiner (Ducky has been known to get stroppy if anyone spoils his crime scene, he reportedly threw somebody down a hill).
Unofficial Rule N: When doing a shootout, don’t kill the hostage and avoid shooting off their ear.
Unofficial Rule O: Don’t call Ziva ‘Ma’am’ and don’t call Jenny ‘Madam Director’, if you want to live.
Unofficial Rule P: When hacking the CIA, give underlings a get out of jail free pass.
Unofficial Rule Q: When breaking others’ rules, do not get caught.
Unofficial Rule R: If you want to gain access to a secure area to investigate, carry a cup of coffee and some paperwork and act like you belong.
Unofficial Rule S: Never, ever (ever) get Ziva angry.
Unofficial Rule F: Always anticipate
I remember this one from when mcgee followed a guy through a car wash..
Gibbs: “Anticipate McGee” (after Gibbs cuffed the buy at the EXIT to the wash)
Unofficial Rule A: Never say apologise, as it’s a sign of weakness.
My ex-wife firmly believed this rule. She would NEVER say she was sorry, she considered it a sign of weakness..I’d always find a new shirt, pants, jeans, whatever which could never, ever, ever take the place of a simple “I’m sorry”..
Unofficial Rule T: Only Abby can break any of the above rules without consequence.
Great list!