Murphy’s Other Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong, a tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those whom live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
13. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little
girl was.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the
wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured
her attention.
He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
“Daddy, what are those two spider things doing?” she asked.
“They’re mating,” her father replied.
“What do you call the spider on top?” she asked.
“That’s a Daddy Longlegs,” her father answered.
“So, the other one is a Mummy Longlegs?” the little girl
asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and
innocent question he replied,
“No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.”
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a
moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.
“Well, we’re not having any of that gay sh*t in our garden
Hey, that was the 'nuc rule' in the Navy. Naval Nuclear Power is full of really, really bright guys who drank away their college money and had to get a job. Many of them are the stereotypical "memorized the encyclopedia but can't start a car" type, thus 50-50-90.