A Rabbi is a passenger on a bus involved in a rollover accident. After the wreck, he appears to be uninjured but is repeatedly crossing himself. A police officer on scene approaches him and says, “Rabbi, are you all right?” The rabbi answers, “Yes, my son,” but continues crossing himself.
The policeman says, “But you’re a Rabbi. Why are you crossing yourself?”
The Rabbi says, “Son I’m just making sure everything is still here. Spectacles, Testicles, comb and pen.”
Jewish jokes? You know you a fighting a pro, right?
Two Jews are down on their luck. They are walking back to their hotel when they happen to pass a Roman Catholic church. They see a big sign outside saying “CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY AND GET $20”.
Avram looks up and down the street, then turns to Shlomo and says, “Let’s do it — no-one will know when we get back home and we’ll each make $20.”
“Okay,” says Shlomo. “You go first.”
So Avram strides purposefully into the church. He comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed.
“So,” asks Shlomo eagerly, “did you get the $20?”
Avram looks up and says, “Is that all you people think of?”