I bet Ted Kennedy was driving the truck...
I bet Nancy was telling him how to drive.
One day, with a sudden flash and the smell of sulfur, the Devil appeared in Senator Harry Reid’s office.
The Devil said, “I will give you money, power, the ability to impose your will on others, but you must give me your immortal soul and work for the domination of Evil over the world and the oppression on men.”
Senator Reid thought for a moment, then said, “Wait a minute! What’s the catch?@”
Q: What does one say to a Democrat in a three-piece suit?
A: “Will the defendant please rise?”
Q: How many Democrat does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They just steal someone else’s light.
Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
Liberals are like seagulls: all they do is squawk, eat crap and are protected by the government.
Q: Why does Barney Frank cry during sex?
A: Mace
Q: Why does Barney Frank cry during sex?
A: His asshole is being torn open.
In honor of its bailout by the Democrats Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton.
The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center’s director that he was an acceptable candidate.
“That’s great!” the executive said. “But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive.”
“Yes, sir, it can,” the director replied. “An ounce of accountant’s brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist’s brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president’s is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat’s brain is seventy-five thousand dollars.”
“Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat’s brain? Why on earth is that?”
“Do you have any idea,” the director asked, “how many Democrats we would have to kill?”