Posted on 07/24/2009 6:03:00 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Alright, now that’s just creepy.
Those rat slippers are awesome! I might have to look into getting a pair of those.
WoooHooo, only 45 minutes to miller time for me today!
Yesterday, I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Phil, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had; an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my ori fices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won’t let me shop there anymore..
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say
| You Are Sneakers |
 You are cool, but you are still approachable. You are stylish and edgy, but you aren't a slave to fashion. You tend to put your own spin on trends. You tend to have a fast paced, busy lifestyle. Not a lot of people can keep up with you! You should live: Near nature You should work: In a job that keeps you on the go |
| You Are Bare Feet |
 Even wearing shoes can be a little too constraining for you at times! You are very comfortable in your own skin. You are one of the most real people around. You don't have anything to hide. Open and accepting, you are willing to discuss or entertain almost any topic. You are a very tolerant person. You are accepting and not judgmental. You should live: Somewhere warm You should work: At your own business, where you can set the rules |
This letter was sent to the principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all human kind. Read it, soak it in, and bask in the warm feeling that it leaves you with.
Dear Reyer School: God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen’s luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the county home for the aged.
All my people are gone. It’s nice to know that someone thinks of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but would never let me listen to hers even when she was napping. The other day her radio fell and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.
Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was
God’s way of answering my prayers
She then asked if she could listen to mine, and I said kiss my a$$.
Sincerely,
Agnas Baker
| You Are Clogs |
 You seek – and almost always achieve – a really sound balance in your life. You are stylish yet comfortable. Mellow but driven. Excited yet calm. You are the perfect mesh of contradictions. No matter what happens, you have the ability to stay well grounded in your life. People know that they can truly depend on you. You should live: In Europe You should work: At a company dedicated to helping the world |
LOVE IT!!! I needed a great laugh this morning!!!
| You Are Sneakers |
 You are cool, but you are still approachable. You are stylish and edgy, but you aren't a slave to fashion. You tend to put your own spin on trends. You tend to have a fast paced, busy lifestyle. Not a lot of people can keep up with you! You should live: Near nature You should work: In a job that keeps you on the go |
| You Are The Old Schu |
 You are gonna try to nail the farmer’s daughter... Admit it you sick SOB. Anne Heche is gonna freak out if you do. |
I think I did something wrong... I'm no good at these quizzes
John Mellencamp French Shoes Lyrics:
He was a good lookin’ guy
Stood about six foot three
Long brown hair
As nice as he could be
Everybody liked him
But he didn’t have a clue
He looked silly as hell
In those funny French shoes
You know the type
Without any heels
Leather souls
Kind of a slip on deal
He was cavalier
Whether he’d win or lose
But he looked silly as hell
In those funny French shoes
CHORUS
Funny French shoes
Funny French shoes
No man should be wearin’
Those funny French shoes
They look good on a woman’s foot
I must say that they do
But no guy should be wearin’
Those funny French shoes
I know it’s not right
To judge a man by his clothes
By the way that he looks
Or the people he may know
I’m embarrassed to say
If I had to choose
I could never really trust
Any man wearing those
funny French shoes
CHORUS
Get some socks on, man!
Sooner or later every man comes to a crossroad in his life, and he faces a difficult choice.
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