Shut Up and Hand Me the Wrench!(Satire)

Canada Free Press ^ | 7/16/2009 | William Kevin Stoos

[Signalman]

- Satire

The year was 2019, in the third term of the Reign of Obama the Secular. Owing to a radical Supreme Court stacked with four Obama appointees who declared the Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution unconstitutional, Obama was well on his way to becoming the first President since Roosevelt to be elected to four terms. A generation that voted for free stuff in 2008, begat another generation of voters who wanted free stuff. In time, the amount of voters wanting free stuff--and knowing they would get it from the Great One--reached a tipping point. They soon outnumbered those who worked, paid taxes, and created jobs. For the next decade they continued to vote for politicians who promised free stuff. Of course, this ensured that the King of Free Stuff, Obama the Secular--who never met a government program he did not like--would be re-elected for life.

By 2019, the government had acquired Government Motors--which produced the Obamobile--a tinny, scaled-down, politically-correct Smart Car powered by chicken manure, which got 150 miles per gallon and rode two people and one sack of groceries comfortably. If you did not hit anything harder than a marshmallow, did not want to ride farther than ten miles, and did not need to carry anything, the Obamobile was great--and guaranteed not to crush you in an impact less than 5 miles per hour. The government also owned the press, which had willingly volunteered to merge into a new federal agency comprised of ABC, MSNBC, CBS, and NBC, named “The Department of ObaMedia.” Its mission it was to herald the accomplishments of the Great Leader, produce Obama Infomercials, and explain new government controls on the peoples’ lives. All banks were nationalized and combined into one mega bank--"ObamaNational."

[Just another Joe]

Yup.

[OrioleFan]

With Stimulus Run Amok, has anyone gotten anything free yet? The saved jobs are in the government sector, I believe.

[DuncanWaring]

Owing to a radical Supreme Court stacked with four Obama appointees who declared the Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution unconstitutional,

Or, a Honduran-style ACORN-sponsored referendum "proving" the populace wanted to "change" the Twenty-second Amendment.

[theFIRMbss]

>Hand Me the Wrench

I thought it said wench. It's Friday. I'd rather have a wench than a wrench.

[henkster]

The only thing missing is all the towns and cities renamed after the Great Leader. Detroit becomes 0bamopolis, Louisville becomes 0bamaville; Cleveland becomes 0bamaland, Washington DC becomes 0bamagrad.

[Professional Engineer]

Dear leader ping