Posted on 07/12/2009 8:22:03 PM PDT by mnehring
Man, what a dump. Sorry, locals, I'm sure you're all real happy with your city and all, but I can't understand why. As a visitor to your fair city, I'll try to relate why it disappointed me so.
Transport - what major city in the USA has no inter-city passenger train line? Cincinnati, that's who. It's not like it's be hard to build, and it's not like Cincinnati is such a new city that it hasn't got around to it yet. They just don't like public transport here. Heck, they just built a bridge over the river, but do you think they put pedestrian access on it? Hell no. Drive or die seems to be the motto. On the plus side, they do plan to have a train through town by 2004. Pigs hope to fly by the same time.
Aesthetics - well there's some fine old buildings around Cincy. Some really grandiose old brick skyscrapers that eminate the skyline. But then what? Four things. Ugly bridges, ugly riverboats, ugly new buildings and ugly stadiums. Actually, credit where it's due, Cinergy Field (formerly Riverfront Stadium) is a great little ballpark. But they're pulling it down... The riverfront is one huge car park, the new football stadium is as ugly as manmade structures will ever get, and the historic riverboats have been turned into TGI Fridays and Applebees. Ick.
The law - nasty nasty individuals with a heavy hand and no respect for the letter of the law they're sworn to protect. And they spend all their time arresting convenience store owners for selling Penthouse. Seriously.
The KKK - the local Klan chapter can be seen each Christmas erecting a crucifix in Cincinnati's Fountain Square. Fabulous. What century are we in?
TV - Television in Cincy is great... if you enjoy religious programming. I don't. Next.
Sports - The Bengals stink. The Reds pay their janitors more than they pay their manager. Nobody would set up an NBA team here to save their life. But they do have a decent IHL hockey team. Reasons to be cheerful...
Weather - Tornado alerts, frost, and a constant thick haze. No tans to be seen in Sin-C.
Liquor - not if it's Sunday. On Sunday you have to drive into Kentucky to buy a bottle of wine. On any other day the bars close at 2am.
Cuisine - there's a decent Indian place in town and a big food court in Carew Place... and that's all. Over the river you can find every fast food restuarant known to man, and the locals seem to live on Skyline Chili. But don't expect to indulge in what the out'a'towners call 'fine dining'.
The river - brown. Sometimes green.
In summary, Cincinnati is a city that is slowly self-destructing. The town is still run by the folks who used to chase Larry Flynt around in the early Hustler days (the town sherrif is still the same guy portrayed in The People Vs Larry Flynt, he was just re-elected unopposed), with the minor exception of former Mayor Jerry Springer who found work elsewhere after being caught with hookers...
It stinks. Come watch your football team kick the tar out of theirs, then leave. Quickly.
The subway system was started, it just hasn't been finished yet.
In fact, it is "the largest abandoned under-construction subway tunnel in the United States."
Good. I want to move there. Public transportation is an exercise in government control and socialism over it's citizens. Anyone that pines for it is a socialist that is too stupid and ignorant to realize that your government owns you when you use public transportation.
Now, GFY Chris Parry.
"great little ball park" for those LIKE ME who didn't know any better.
He's preternaturally scared of Christians.
He's a Eurofag wannabe who settled in Canada?
Come on Chris, make the move to Berlin, you know you want to.
What did North America do to get stuck with this silly Aussie poofter?
I think perhaps he meant “inner-city,” but the bong water and Zima drove him to hit on that nasty, slutty, irresistibly-seductive “t” key, rather than proceeding with the correct spelling.
Although remarkably poorly worded, I think he’s talking about intra-city trains. IOW, you can’t get to Cincy by train.
Only those who’ve never traveled on Amtrak (outside the NE corridor) would consider this a negative. I tried to use AT extensively in FL, but trains were late, for a 225 mile trip, for periods ranging from 1 to 10 hours. Just not practical to use.
BTW, his talk about nowhere to eat is just idiotic. I’ve been to a great many cities in America, and you can always find somewhere neat, although not perhaps pretentious to eat, if you research it a little. I bet there are some great restaurants in Cincy.
I know the fastest growing city in the world is Dublin.
Well...he did say he moved to Canada to get 'FREE' health care (specifically dental work) because it was too expensive in the US!
Sorry, meant inter-city trains.
And the city where the people wear the biggest shoes is Tripoli.
Amtrack is an inter-city train system. From the rest of his paragraph, it is clear that he is talking about intra-city commuter trains, not Amtrack, though he says inter-city.
See here:
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/inter-
and here:
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/intra-
Biography for
Chris Parry (II)
Date of Birth
14 October 1969, Sydney, Australia
Nickname
Oz
Height
5’ 10” (1.78 m)
Mini Biography
Spent time working in production, development and merchandising at Kevin Smith’s View Askew Productions in Red Bank NJ, before returning to Australia and taking an executive position with an Australian film magazine.
IMDb Mini Biography By: Anonymous
Mini Biography
Born in Sydney Australia in 1969, Chris Parry attended Sydney Boys’ High School and can thank Kevin Smith’s View Askew Productions for his break into the movie business. Working with filmmakers like Scott Mosier, Malcolm Ingram, Brian Lynch, Bryan Johnson and Vincent Pereira, Parry eventually went back to Australia and invested in a film magazine, Filmink. Within two years the magazine was the most widespread film-based magazine in the country, leading Parry to return to the US and pursue his freelance writing career. Having ghost-written for a variety of producers since 2000, Parry is now based out of Vancouver, Las Vegas and LA - depending on the time of year.
IMDb Mini Biography By: Anonymous
Trivia
Was one of the three people who created the eFilmCritic.com movie website in 1997.
Wrote a screenplay in 2000, Do Over, which dealt with a man who time traveled back to the age of 15 and had to deal with high school. This same title and theme later became a TV series for the WB, and a second series, That Was Then, went into production for the ABC at the same time, also with the exact same theme.
Nickname ‘Oz’ was dubbed upon him by his former boss, Kevin Smith, so as to avoid confusion with another person with a similar name.
Does his screenplay writing in Vancouver where he says, “the air is clean, nobody has a gun and you can cut the quiet with a knife,” but spends much of the year in LA and Las Vegas.
Where Are They Now
Currently writing freelance for various international and domestic film and entertainment magazines, developing Out Of character and Replay for production in 2001.
Wait, he claims he worked for Kevin Smith.. interesting, that may be worth checking out if he is claiming to have worked for THE Kevin Smith. I’ll get back to y’all on that.
He sure likes the free healthcare in Canada. Maybe he’s angling for a position in the Obama administration on “cradle to grave” healthcare.
Chris Parry
Online Editor at Vancouver Sun
Vancouver, Canada Area
Chris Parry
.Current•Online editor at Vancouver Sun
•On-air host at CJSF
•Managing Editor at eFilmcritic.com
Past•Owner at Unreel Media
•Freelance writer at IFC TV
•Freelance writer at Stuff Magazine
My company
My website
My blog
not because the Cincy city losers (i.e, commie council) hasn’t tried. they are wetting their panties trying to get an 8 car trolley system that covers 2 miles. cost .... 200 million dollars. I’ll let you do the math.
Cincy, the city of losers .......the Luken news reader, (the riot instigator) Roxanne Qualls, and the current commie dirtbag has taken a once proud city into the dust of Detroit.
Bulldoze the businesses and restaurants to put in one billion dollar of tax funded stadiums for more losers to play in. Send the entertainment, bars, hotels, restarants and all sort os creative profitable business across the river to KY, where Newport decided to let the investor take the risk and build the mega dollar generating complex. Newport on the levee is the place to be. Hamilton county got two toilet bowls and the tax bill. oh .. the turds are still floating in each
It is what happens when liberals are in charge.
Chris Parry says the Vancouver Sun is okay with what he has done. I think we should find out if that is true?!
Sun Newsroom
Editor-in-Chief
Patricia Graham
Phone: 604-605-2318
Fax: 604-605-2668 pgraham@vancouversun.com
Managing Editor
Kirk LaPointe
Phone: 604-605-2033
Fax: 604-605-2668 klapointe@vancouversun.com
Deputy Managing Editor
Harold Munro Phone: 604-605-2985
Fax: 604-605-2323 hmunro@vancouversun.com
Deputy Managing Editor
Stewart Muir Phone: 604-605-2147
Fax: 604-605-2323 smuir@vancouversun.com
Deputy Managing Editor, Multimedia
Paul Bucci Phone: 604-605-2445
Phone: 604-605-2154
Fax: 604-605-2323 pbucci@vancouversun.com
Executive Editor
Valerie Casselton Phone: 604 605-2125
Fax: 604-605-2323 vcasselton@vancouversun.com
Senior Editor
Nicholas Palmer
Phone: 604-605-2167
Fax: 604-605-2323 npalmer@vancouversun.com
Editor, editorial pages
Fazil Mihlar
Phone: 604-605-2185
Fax: 604-605-2522
fmihlar@vancouversun.com
Who is THE Kevin Smith?
And yes, as you can see, he claims that.
One of the best writer/directors. Clerks, Dogma, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, etc.
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