Posted on 07/09/2009 4:11:20 PM PDT by Keltik
Car Audio Thug -- You'll find this guy in the car audio department. He's got a big plug earring in each ear, some form of facial hair out of a late-90's R&B video and tattoos on his forearms. He tears into the parking lot every day, tires squealing, bass blasting, in a late-model Civic that he's dumped thousands of dollars into. You suspect that if he didn't have a job selling car stereos, he'd be stealing them.
Marginally Cute Customer Service Girl -- This girl works at the customer service desk or as a cashier. She's maybe 17 years old and is kind of cute, but only when compared to the chubby piles of sadness she's surrounded with. Because of this, she's constantly hit on/sexually harassed by the guys who stock CDs and DVDs. She manages to take this in stride somehow and is almost infuriatingly perky and chipper. The chances of her having hooked up with the car audio thug are very high.
Grizzled Old Home Theater/Computer Sales Lifer -- This guy has seen some shit. He's a refugee from Lechmere or Tweeter or some other now-defunct retail outlet. He knows the most about the products he sells, which is why all the part-time high school employees send customers with actual questions his way. He's got an air of resigned acceptance about his life, and while he's all-business with customers, he's got no filter with fellow employees. He tells inappropriate jokes and talks vulgarly about the managers behind their back. He has a strictly regimented cigarette break every 2.5 hours that he never, ever misses.
Pervy Geek Squad Guy -- This guy searches every computer that's in for service for porn, collecting everything he finds on an external HDD that he keeps in the back. He talks in graphic terms about what he'd do to women who he sees enter the store, but when he talks to them he's totally professional. You suspect that he pleasures himself behind the plastic curtains, but you don't want to confirm this. He's got a level 80 World of Warcraft character. Somehow, he and the grizzled old sales guy are buddies and eat lunch together.
Sad Department Manager -- This guy went to college then, after graduation, moved back home with his parents to save money. He ended up getting a job at Best Buy while he "figured stuff out." It's 10 years later and he still lives in the town he went to high school in, is balding, gained 15 pounds and is the manager of the digital cameras department. He's perfectly adequate at his job, but talking to him for more than 5 minutes just makes you so damned sad.
Slick Careerist Manager -- This guy wants to go right to the top. He runs team meetings, irons his blue polos, and gets a hard-on when talking about accessory sales and service-plan attach rates. He's climbing the ladder with everything he's got, and he spews corporate nonsense with the passion of a true believer. You've never seen him have an actual human interaction with someone, and you wonder if he even has any furniture in his apartment. He may be a robot.
Terrifying Loss-Prevention Guy -- This guy is either an ex-con, an ex-cop or a vet. He is jacked yet forced to wear a yellow polo shirt, which creates a false sense of levity when dealing with him. He may seem friendly on the outside, but if you cross him he will snap your neck. He legitimately thinks that it's unfair that Best Buy security guys aren't allowed to carry sidearms. He has so much rage bottled up inside him that you know to just say hello and smile and otherwise steer clear.
Someone is spending WAAAAY too much time at Best Buy
For a year while in high school, my son worked at Best Buy. This is pretty much on target. :)
But its true
LOL. I must say you have them pegged.
Otherwise I can't stomach the place.
My first tech job was at a computer chain store years ago.
This is *deadly accurate*.
HOLY CRAP!! I’m sad department manager guy!
Even a casual trip to pick up a WAP you don’t have time to order online says that this survey is pretty much dead-on.
Couple that with corporate management that has the same regard for its employees that you do for garden implements and you’ve got a modern day variation of Dante’s Inferno.
Losers, geeks, pervs and thugs. What a parade.
I know where this guy is from... ya Baahstin Baahstahd. LOL.
HA! Great stuff, thanks for the post!
I can believe it.
(You better have a husband, honey)
(sigh)
I just came from BB 2 weeks ago: you forgot...
The “MP3-selling customer service girl who thinks the IPOD should be sold only and that the other MP3 PLAYERS either dont exist or they suck”...even though they are right in front of her.
and...”The RETURNS MERCHANDISE PERSON who initially investigates you because you returned an item that doesn’t work but looks at you suspiciously because either you broke the item or used it at a party then returned it”
The only employee I have empathy for is the “Terrifying Loss-Prevention Guy”.
He probably IS a vet and bored to tears after Iraq or Afghanistan.
I always go out of my way to say something nice to them.
bfl
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