Posted on 06/28/2009 9:48:05 AM PDT by Maelstorm
Sadly, and to my horror, I am divorcing. This was a 20-year partnership. My husband is a good man, though he did travel 20 weeks a year for work. I am a 47-year-old woman whose commitment to monogamy, at the very end, came unglued. This turn of events was a surprise. I don’t generally even enjoy men; I had an entirely manageable life and planned to go to my grave taking with me, as I do most nights to my bed, a glass of merlot and a good book. Cataclysmically changed, I disclosed everything. We cried, we bewailed the fate of our children.
And yet at the end of the day — literally during a five o’clock counseling appointment, as the golden late-afternoon sunlight spilled over the wall of Balinese masks — when given the final choice by our longtime family therapist, who stands in as our shaman, mother, or priest, I realized … no. Heart-shattering as this moment was — a gravestone sunk down on two decades of history — I would not be able to replace the romantic memory of my fellow transgressor with the more suitable image of my husband, which is what it would take in modern-therapy terms to knit our family’s domestic construct back together. In women’s-magazine parlance, I did not have the strength to “work on” falling in love again in my marriage. And as Laura Kipnis railed in “Against Love,” and as everyone knows, good relationships take work.
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
That's your problem, right there.
I had an entirely manageable life and planned to go to my grave taking with me, as I do most nights to my bed, a glass of merlot and a good book.Sandra Tsing Loh is a pretentious nut-case.
'Cataclysmically'IMO her husband should act like he just won the Mega-Ball Lottery as right now he's the luckiest guy alive. Her "I don’t generally even enjoy men", kind of explains it all.
'bewailed'
'our shaman, mother, or priest'
'a gravestone sunk down'
'my fellow transgressor'
'knit our family’s domestic construct back together'
'women’s-magazine parlance'
It's no wonder she needed a 'longtime family therapist'. No real person talks like that. She's a barking Moonbat.
I would never have considered marrying a woman like that no matter how desperate. It isn’t worth the hassle marriage has enough challenges without marrying someone who has all these fictional ideas about men and women getting in the way of the relationship. The worst part it sounds like she has a really good husband a man that would never consider divorcing her or cheating on her.
“I don’t know why people who fail feel this need to generalize their failure to others. Just because they fail suddenly means the foundations of the world must be changed to make it all right. This degree of selfish narcissism is horrible...”
That is a magnificent summation of the essence of liberal thought and emotion.........
Thank you!
In this persons world, it seems the women have become men, and the men have become women.
In women’s-magazine parlance, I did not have the strength to “work on” falling in love again in my marriage.
Thank god my mother was to busy as a homemaker, who put her kids happiness first, to read the latest women’s magazine. I guess she just didn’t realize how miserable she really was.
Mom and Pop have been togeter 55 years.
Go figure. Gays are arguing to get married, and heteros like this are saying that marriage is an obsolete concept.
Why? She' not ugly, or even unattractive. In fact, she's quite pretty. You need to look past the glasses - she's slim, beautiful smile, and very attractive. And, I'm speakign as a woman. Unfortunately, she apparently doesn't have much character. But, one would not know that just by looking at her.
I saw this crap article before hitting FR this morning.
You've hit the nail on the head.
And as this woman in old age probably dies alone with no one there who loved her she can wallow in her own pity as her last thoughts.
I figure he is lucky to be shut of her. I don’t see in this clip any consideration of the children.
It’s all about the destruction of the traditional two-parent family, the fundamental building block of civil society. It goes in hand with chasing religion from the public square and making as many people dependent on government as possible. The end goal is to deny our Creator-endowed, unalienable, and individual rights of life, liberty, and property, and then in turn to make us part of a Marxist/Utopian collective in which misery is spread to all, excepting the ruling elitists.
Sorry about the misunderstanding but that isn’t the woman who is writing this article who I was commenting on. I was only talking about the author of this article. As for the poor lady with the platonic relationship and rude husband I most certainly do not agree with the attitude about not wanting to have sex with a wife who has gained a few pounds.
I personally have never cared less about my wife’s weight and I think a good sexual relationship is necessary to a good relationship. She runs the home and that is her job and it is a big one. Sadly many place the same kind of chains on their sexual relationships that they do on the other parts of their lives. If she is so horny why doesn’t she make the first move? I certainly never hesitate when I’m in the mood but then again I really like having sex with my wife. However in this case it seems she married a little boy and is she surprised he acts like one? Freelance? What in the hell is that? If he really lets such a small hangup as weight gain get in the way of the relationship then maybe she does need a divorce but then again every situation is unique and we are only seeing a small snapshot of it here.
>>Why? She’ not ugly, or even unattractive. In fact, she’s quite pretty. You need to look past the glasses - she’s slim, beautiful smile, and very attractive. And, I’m speakign as a woman. Unfortunately, she apparently doesn’t have much character. But, one would not know that just by looking at her.<<
You’re frightening me... ;)
AWOL from this self-absorbed woman’s story - discussion of faith, religion, church.
I attended the third wedding reception of my nephew and his bride last night. They had one in Florida where they got married, another one in Arkansas where her family and many friends reside, and last night’s in Texas where he is from and where they live.
He met her in church, not at work or in a bar. They had considerable couseling by their minister before they tied the knot so they would know what to expect of themselves and each other in the marriage. And more importantly to learn what God expects of them.
I’m pretty sure they will have a great life together. My nephew was raised in a home where faith was a part of his everyday life. My sister is an Anglican and my b-i-l is a Catholic. Their three kids were raised Anglican, but with a healthy respect for their father’s Catholic beliefs. The family says grace before every meal, even if they are dining out in a restaurant. All three kids are now happily married, and the two older girls have children of their own.
Most of the people I have observed who put the Lord first in their lives and trust in Him have very few, if any, of the problems I read about in such garbage as this article.
- JP
She may also be just fine in her old age but it still doesn’t change the irresponsibility of her generalization. The people that will be negatively affected will be her children and other young people who take her ill advised article to heart.
If I were her husband I would travel 52 weeks a year.
Yes, you are correct.
I’m a lucky man my self. My parents will be celebrating their 60th anniversary this year. What they gave me in their example of lifelong marriage is priceless.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.