I can't answer for or defend Reconstruction. Nor can I say who actually burned out your Alabama ancestors.
But what I'm certain of is that the Reconstruction which actually happened was not necessarily what Lincoln intended, or would have allowed. Indeed, if I remember right, Lincoln's Vice President Johnson was impeached for opposing Radical Republican reconstruction plans.
I don't think we should blame Lincoln for what happened after he was murdered.
No Argument from me on that point. What I stated did in fact happen during the Radical Republican Supression of Alabama.