Are stay at home parents sacrificing?

JacksonNJOnline ^ | June 5, 2009 | Becky Parr

[pnh102]

My wife stays at home to raise our infant daughter. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. We did cut back on a lot of things, but I hardly see that as a "sacrifice."

There's no way I can put a value on what we got in return for my wife staying home with our daughter.

[vpintheak]

This pretty much summs it up for the VPINTHEAK household. People sometimes question how we get by, but really, we are fine, have less debt, seem happier than a lot of other people I know, all with the MRS. staying at home. It both can, and should be done. The children will be better off for it.

[prismsinc]

Kudos! We’re both stay at home parents. We run our business from home. Makes for awesome time with the twins!

[ravingnutter]

OK I keeed, I keeed!

Good story...for me to poop on! < / Triumph>

[madamemayhem]

my hubby is an over-the-road trucker who is home weekends and once or twice during the week. i am a stay at home mom. i know many people who both work full time and leave their kids with someone else to raise. and yet we have more financial security and flexibility than them. we have a budget but it isn’t severe strict. i raise my kids and would not allow someone else that priveledge in a million years. i am impressed with you for the 5, i have 2 and it is sometimes a challenge to get everything done. cheers to you!!

[GonzoGOP]

In technical terms No. A sacrifice is when you give up something of value for something that has lesser or no value. Unless these people value their children less than what they gave up it is not a sacrifice, just a decision based on perceived values.

[kalee]

People who think I sacrificed to stay home with my children have a skewed view of motherhood. I refused to sacrifice my children for the vanities of the world.

[ninergold3]

I wasn't able to be a SAH mom when my 23 year old was little. I wasn't able to be a SAH mom when my 18 year old was little...

I wasn't able to be a SAH mom until we moved to Nevada three and a half years ago. My daughter was almost 15 when I finally was able to stay home with her. Our youngest was in Kindergarten.

We are so blessed that I can stay home now. The last few years with my daughter have been wonderful. These were such important years in her life and to be there for her has been wonderful for both of us.

Our 8YO son is very excited that mom can help out at school any time they need me, I can go on field trips and I'm there every single day when he gets home. I wouldn't trade these days for anything.

[Retired Greyhound]

Good explanation. I agree.

[beaversmom]

I have stayed at home for the last 10 years. My oldest is 12. Middle guy is 7 and my daughter is 3. I’m considering going back to work after the summer. The way things are heading in this country, I feel like I need to get back in there so we can save more money. I have clerical skills so I will probably have to do something along those lines. The oldest two are in school so I would have to make arrangements with relatives for the little girl or find something I can do at night.

[netmilsmom]

>>My children will be raised with my beliefs and morals, not whoever the daycare center has making minimum wage pretending to give a rats ass about my children.<<

The dirty little secret that is the elephant in the room.

I used to sit for two girls and had a two year old. When all three cried, guess who I cared for?

[Tax-chick]

It’s all in your attitude. If you think what you’re doing is inferior to some alternative, you’ll be a grump. How is that fun? I don’t even think getting up at night to feed a baby is a “sacrifice.” I get to watch “Walker, Texas Ranger” in peace, and I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

[Filo]

My wife went stay-at-home shortly after our second was born.

It’s been fine so far but now she wants to send both to private school. . . and who can blame her (we live in Kalifornia.)

Sad thing is: ‘tain’t gonna happen on my salary.

/sigh

[grame]

“In every act of selflessness, of loving sacrifice, of compassion,...we seem to be giving something away, to be robbing ourselves. The truth is that such acts enrich us and make us grow; this is the only way that leads forward and upward......Love alone gives life meaning. That is the more capable we are of loving and surrendering ourselves, the more meaningful our life becomes.” from Reflections by Herman Hesse

[stylecouncilor]

ping

[kalee]

I never thought it a sacrifice to put my children first.

[Marie2]

Homeschooling? Kindergarten is REALLY easy.

[OpeEdMunkey]

The sacrifice catches up later on when tuitions cannot be afforded, aged cars cannot be replaced, colleges admitted to cannot be attended etc. etc.

Throw in an unplanned expense such as unexpected admission to a private high school and it does lead one to question one’s decision.

Now add the crappy economy on top of that and it gets downright scary.

FWIW I still think we made the right decision, but there most definitely is a sacrifice.

[ottbmare]

I stayed at home with my kids for a number of years, and even after the divorce my husband and I both felt I should stay home longer, as it would be too cruel to put a sick toddler in daycare. I wasn’t sacrificing; it felt like one big ongoing party, a continual delight. I wish to gracious I could live like that again—nothing is more delightful than raising kids and taking care of the house. It was great while it lasted.