If Ryan would have been artificially inseminated while living with a man and now married someone else... the first guy would be history as far as visitation is concerned. He might be forced to pay child support for 21 years, no matter what... but I really believe that the courts would give the kid to the birth mother and drop the non biological father in a heartbeat.
It is as it should be. The courts are creating very messy custody battles by not being clear on somethings and not just where lesbians are concerned.