1. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.
2. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One . . . men will screw anything.
3. How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
4. What is a man’s idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
5. How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He’s breathing.
6. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
7. What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the the neck up.
8. How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
9. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
No one knows . . . It’s never been done.
10. How are men and parking spaces alike?
The good ones are already taken and the ones left are handicapped.
11. What is a man’s idea of helping you with housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
12. What is the difference between men and E.T.?
E.T. called home.
13. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
14. How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
15. How is a man like linoleum?
If you lay him right the first time, you can walk all over him for the next twenty years.
Some of these are real funny. A guy should be able to laugh at himself and I am sure many of these will ring true to those reading, although they may not want to admit it to themselves. BTW, when mi' lovely bride of 19 years works every other Saturday. I vacuum, clean the floors, dishes, bathrooms, bedrooms...and even make dinner, at least I try to on those days. There is no reason not to help her out where and when I can. I suppose I could take the "macho" approach....but, I know she appreciates the help. I guess that is why she never gives me a hard tome when I want to go out with a few of the guys for a beer on a Saturday night. You reap what you sow.
Item no. 2 and 7 are directly linked.
#10 is probably the reason I’m still single...
Personally, I don’t mind it too much as I’m still a bit young to get married. If a good guy (who’s single, see above about parking spaces) comes along at the right time for both of us, then I won’t be single. Until then, I’ll enjoy things like putting Batman sheets on my bed, or not caring if you can barely see the floor in my room under all the laundry cause nobody else is going in there, or playing video games/watching sci-fi with my single friends on weekend nights instead of worrying about going on a date...