I married a woman who completely supported me before marriage, encouraged me to spread my wings, told me my career was important to us, and would follow me anywhere. I fell for it, and her.
Then I got married, and she pulled the rug out from under me. I had to adapt to her plan, period. My career was not important at all. I was just one little square in her giant checkerboard. Husband? Check.
Needless to say, I am divorced. Most painful period in my life. It is absolutely shocking to discover that you not only have been duped, but that your friends knew it beforehand.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before I got married to her?”
“Would you have listened?”
(humble voice) “Nope.”
......Then I got married, and she pulled the rug out from under me. I had to adapt to her plan, period. My career was not important at all. I was just one little square in her giant checkerboard......
I had a friend who had this same problem. What was really bad was that his new wife’s plan was at odds to his mother’s plan to which he towed the line.
Suicide at 21
I once dated a girl with whom I would have wound up in the same situation had I married her. Interestingly, our mutual friends told me at the time that I should leave her, but I thought that once you made a decision to date, that you followed through until it had no chance to truly recover.
After two years of three day cycles from her being elated, to being indifferent, to crying and blaming me for things she did (then apologizing), I couldn't take it any more.
I only casually did things with women over the next 10 years, having been taken through the wringer.
I then met my wife and she was a truly solid person in all good ways. I'm glad each day to be married to her.
Too many have married people that are not stable or who do not have good hearts. I learned from couples I knew to hold off until the right one was found. Life often seemed pretty lonely, but I'm grudgingly glad the many years it took allowed me to be with her.
If she died, I would only marry a woman of good character and heart, like her.