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Amazing 99 Cent Store offers cheap deals and strange nostalgia
jackcentral ^ | April 16, 2009 | Troy Farah

Posted on 04/16/2009 11:24:10 AM PDT by JoeProBono

Past the Flagstaff Mall, next to Savers in the McDonald’s Plaza, lies a little store that houses some incredible deals and some bizarre retail history.

It’s called the Amazing 99 Cent Store. Yes, really, and it lives up to the name. And believe me, when the apocalypse hits, you’re going to shop here often. Along with the cockroaches, it’ll be the only thing left.

The Amazing Store acts somewhat like a dollar store, but better. The majority of their retail includes failed marketing ideas or marked-down/expired goods.

The first thing you’ll notice as you walk inside is the mess. The store is organized as if a distributing truck backed up to the doors and just dumped everything inside. This is part of the store’s charm.

Most of what the Amazing Store carries is cheap imported garbage, but it’s so strange and so cheap that it deserves pawing through.

The store is paranoid about shoplifters, as made evident by signs that claim “Steal from us and get a free ride in a police car!” Charming. Some employees will stalk you until you beg for navigation through the wreck, but I found no one knew where anything was. I asked for film, and one guy said the store didn’t carry any. However, it did exist — by the register where the guy was standing.

Yes, the Amazing Store is cluttered, and it’s not exactly homey, but this is a shopping experience. Don’t treat this as a place to satisfy your consumerist wants, but as a surreal museum, an ode to the forgotten past of broken capitalist dreams. It could be ironic that such a place will have more shoppers as its savings deplete in the face of economic trouble. For now, take the place as a joke, a nostalgic trip down a Kafkaesque memory lane.

Remember those TY Beanie Babies that were collectible? The Amazing Store has an entire wall of them. Remember Yu-Gi-Oh!? The Amazing Store sells Yu-Gi-Oh! and Shark Tale cake decorations, which are at least five years old. Don’t worry about expiration dates, however; those things will never go bad.

Or give the girl of your dreams “Grapefruit Sparkle” scented perfume (wonder why that idea didn’t fly). For your cousin, how about a bath-and-body kit of lice shampoo? It comes with a free comb!

And if you’re going to a party, the Amazing Store sells TGI Friday’s mudslide mixers for 33 cents. You can buy a dozen and bring them to a kegger and count that as “pitching in” for the cost of booze. Trust me, no one will know how cheap you are… unless you forget to remove the price stickers.

But perhaps the most incredible thing in the Amazing Store is a giant cage in the very back. For a little less than $500, you can own the perfect storage device for a pet cougar — or maybe a flock of school children. Be creative!

Sometimes in life you have to make your own adventures and find your own history. Besides offering some great deals and a slob-ish aesthetic, the Amazing Store provides a different way of looking at things.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: dollarstore

1 posted on 04/16/2009 11:24:12 AM PDT by JoeProBono
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To: JoeProBono

The store near me had stacks of It takes a village books a few years back


2 posted on 04/16/2009 11:25:24 AM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom)
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To: Revolting cat!; Slings and Arrows
But perhaps the most incredible thing in the Amazing Store is a giant cage in the very back. For a little less than $500, you can own the perfect storage device for a pet cougar — or maybe a flock of school children. Be creative!

DOLLAR Store FAIL.

3 posted on 04/16/2009 11:26:52 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (IRONY - we know more about the First Dog's historical papers than we do of President Barack.)
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To: JoeProBono

So, how much for this thing here...


4 posted on 04/16/2009 11:32:00 AM PDT by irishtenor (Beer. God's way of making sure the Irish don't take over the world.)
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To: irishtenor

Possible business model for Walmart when the economy hits bottom.


5 posted on 04/16/2009 11:36:07 AM PDT by Kartographer
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To: JoeProBono

On a sort of similar note, there is a store near me that buys (or used to buy), in bulk, QVC seconds (returned mdse). I am really a big purse fan; and I could find Dooney and Bourke bags, for less than $20 in the same shippers that held, everything from cleaning products to bedding to whatever. It was a cool bargain hunting experience.


6 posted on 04/16/2009 11:36:08 AM PDT by PennsylvaniaMom (M. Thatcher, "The trouble with Socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.")
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To: JoeProBono

I wonder if dollar stores will be selling the discontinued “Obama Chia”?

: )


7 posted on 04/16/2009 11:36:26 AM PDT by Califreak (Obama is Swahili for "Death to America")
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To: Califreak
Kept under the counter


8 posted on 04/16/2009 11:41:45 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet)
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To: JoeProBono

There are 99 Cent Only stores out here that are a little like that, not as bad, but they did have a 99 cent wedding that even made it to FR I think


9 posted on 04/16/2009 11:43:40 AM PDT by GeronL (TYRANNY SENTINEL. http://tyrannysentinel.blogspot.com)
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To: JoeProBono; Diana in Wisconsin

Pssssssssst, over here :)


10 posted on 04/16/2009 11:44:00 AM PDT by Gabz
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To: JoeProBono
Archie McFee offers bacon flavored dental floss and bubble gum cocktail weenies. Been done!
11 posted on 04/16/2009 11:46:35 AM PDT by 50sDad (The mainstream media is the only watch dog that decides what it is going to bark at.)
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To: a fool in paradise
$500 - old guy sold separately


12 posted on 04/16/2009 11:47:11 AM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet)
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To: JoeProBono
Obama's a pot-head!


13 posted on 04/16/2009 11:59:49 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (IRONY - we know more about the First Dog's historical papers than we do of President Barack.)
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