The old priest lay dying in the hospital.
For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital.
He motioned for his nurse to come near.
“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.
“I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest..
“I’ll see what I can do, Father,” replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response.
Soon the word arrived.
Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images.”
Nancy couldn’t help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Nancy’s hand in his right hand and Harry’s hand in his left.
There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face.
Finally Nancy spoke:
“Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”
The old priest slowly replied:
“I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
The old priest continued ... “He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same.”
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church, and on being told that there was a fortune to be made in horses decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.
He figured since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races, and to his surprise the donkey came in third. The next day the local paper carried this headline: “Pastor’s Ass Shows.”
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won! The local paper read: “Pastor’s Ass Out Front.”
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper read: “Bishop Scratches Pastor’s Ass”.
The bishop was fit to be tied! He ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing the news, posted this headline the next day: “Nun Has Best Ass in Town.”
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day, the paper read: “Nun Sells Ass For $10.00.”
After the bishop was revived, he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: “Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild and Free”.
The bishop was buried the next day.