Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
I should fight with the scanner and scan Cthulhu Bunny so he could disapprove of all humanity in all his tentacle glory.
sw...
I’ve had a bad feeling about this Muslim from the start.
Reason?
I spoke to a Muslim man and he related an incident in which he had been cheated out of some money in his native land. He said, “A [Muslim] man MUST be dishonest, but not THAT dishonest.”
It was enough.
My nephew said, "Me!"Version two: The sports jock strode out from the bathroom in all his glory and said, "Honey, you're looking at two hundred pounds of dynamite!"
She screamed and ran to the closet.
"Hey, wait! Why'd you run away?"
She said, "If you saw two hundred pounds of dynamite with a two-inch fuse, you'd run too!"My version: My wife was looking out the window at an uninviting winter sky. "They say it's going to snow. I'd like to get nine inches!"
I said, "Well, okay. But I may have to make more than one trip!"
20. Then there was the cannibal who passed his friend on the street.
YOIKS!!
Ungh.
New bride to hubby on wedding night: Ooooh! Give me nine inches and make it hurt!
Hubby gave her three fast threes and hit her in the head.
What a mess!
;o]
"I kind of like it," he replied, "How much did you pay for it?"
"$150"
"Geeze...for that much you'd think they would at least have ironed it."
..and that’s how the fight started!
LOL.
He does look cute.
While snuffling around for dreaming carrots.
Evening. I came back. But then I decided to lie down and bond with Wednesday for a few minutes, and couldn’t get back up!
“The Perils of Tax-Chick.”
Watch out for any trains....
I see.
ednesday decided to use that unique cat trait of increasing their apparent mass at will to impeded human locomotion, seemingly so they can study us.
And now it's Thursday.
Hello!
How did your morning go?
Morning... oh yeah. Two hour teleconference wrapped up in one hour. And then the second of a string of visits to the dentist. As well as the cleaning we're working on my gag reflex -- if we can get that under control they can then take x-rays.
Had a bit of a breakthrough on my talk for a conference a couple of weeks from tomorrow. I had a difficult transition from one point to the next, and it finally came together.
And this afternoon had a chat with the marketing manager. I'm well known in my industry and they want to take (more) advantage of that and suggested I might start running a blog (on the corporate website). It could be fun, but we'll talk more later.
Hard to beat that for job security -- but then again, my role model for this job was let go a week or two ago. (I can't imagine what they were thinking! This guy was famous when I first hear of him in '76 and remains so today, and if you think of him you think of his employer.)
How are you today? Better?
Digital x-rays are easier, four bitewings with that and I wasn’t gagging.
I’ve had those too and gagged. It’s been several years since the last successful set of x-rays. The good news is that I don’t get cavities very often.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.