Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy
Morning coffee and invading creature bloodshed.
What more could a guy want?
That would probably be the same song that is stuck in MY head. FReepmail me all the lyrics, would you? I can’t remember them.
LOL!
Mmmm! Brekkity of Champions!
;o]
Do you want the short list? Or the unabridged version?
How else are you going to put the holes into the Cheerios?
*The Dead Horse*
*Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer
agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad
news... The horse died.”
*
*Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”
*
*The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
*
*Chuck said, “Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.”
*
*The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
*
*Chuck said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
*
*The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
*
*Chuck said, “Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
*
*A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, “What happened with
that dead horse?”
*
*Chuck said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece
and made a profit of $998.”
*
*The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
*
*Chuck said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”
*
*Chuck grew up and now works for the government. He’s the one who figured
out how this “bail-out” is going to work.
*
Well, besides nigh unlimited ammo, massive firepower, and perfect coffee?
Sent.
It’s all your fault this time.
Well, I'm off to Girl Scouts! Would someone give Fluffy a snack? He whacked a troll over in the Religion Forum earlier, so he's hungry!
Dipsey Blond is driving along in the country when she spots a grass fire along the side of the road. She stops and uses her cell phone to report the fire. The Fire Department dispatcher ask her, “How do we get there, Mame”. To which she replys “Duh, in the Big Red Truck”!
free dixie SMOOCH,sw
*Dramatic chord*
Not the... Girl Scouts?!
*Horrified screams*
They’re everywhere!
Amost as bad as the ninjas infesting my cupboards!
I open a cupboard, there’s a ninja!
Open the fridge, there’s a ninja!
Open my window, eek! Girlscout! With chainsaw appendage upgrades, heat seeking ability, and the truly frightening laser sight!
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2220747/posts
Some just write themselves!
Dipsey Blond calls her boyfriend and she’s in tears. “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I cant figure out how to get started. Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when its finished?” Dipsey Blond replies, “According to the picture on the box, its a rooster. But it’s really, really hard. I need your help.” Boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and she’s still in tears. Sobbing, shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. Boyfriend studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to Dipsey Blond and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, were not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster. So, I want you to relax, take a deep breath, and stop crying. Lets have a nice cup of tea, and then ...”, he says with a deep sigh, “...lets put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”
Horrible song to have stuck in your head.
So I’m drowning it out with Alice in Chains.
LOL
“What am I going to do with you?”
“I’ll make a list!”
Check your mail...
Hi, sw!
*hug*
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