****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

[Lucky9teen]

Cue music ~ (Pink Floyd - Money)



California is in the hole for $42 billion, so a budget has been proposed. I’m no financial expert, but when you have no money, and no prospects of making money, and you owe $42 billion, you’re way beyond putting yourself on a budget. I think you’re looking at faking your own death.

People say the problem with the budget is that they don’t understand what’s in it. Well of course they don’t. Look who’s explaining it to them — Arnold Schwarzenegger!

President Obama signed the stimulus bill in Denver, Colo. He picked Denver because our debt is now a mile high. It’s symbolic.

Terrible economy. Terrible. If you have any money left, do what I do: Invest in foreclosure signs.

Even Donald Trump has said he would like to reduce his debt. I say, How about reducing the size of that thing on your head?

Obama has addressed two of the three problems he said he would to avert a financial crisis . . . the first was to get the stimulus package passed, the second was the housing crisis, and the third is to get all of us to eat our pets.

Things are bad in California. Gov. Schwarzenegger has done everything he can to get fellow Republicans to back his plan because it involves a tax increase. He told them he’d be back; he’s said, “Hasta la vista, baby”; he even threatened to terminate them.

Reports say that President Obama is moving towards the Swedish models of banking. A president moving towards Swedish models? That hasn’t happened since the Clinton administration.

Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10. Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something
9. Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler
8. Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"
7. Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors
6. Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits
5. Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso
4. Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy
3. Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products
2. Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"
1. Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit Obama's national debt." -- Tip o'the hat to Herbert Hoover

Based on his performance in office so far, President Obama should do just fine on his future tax returns. After all, he will be able to write off his second term.

It's too bad that we can't buy stock in the federal tax system. With Obama as president that will be only thing sure to go up.

President Obama is angrily calling for more federal tax increases. He just heard from his advisors that some American taxpayers weren't completely broke yet.

The best things in life are free but President Obama's tax advisors are working hard trying to solve that problem.

Barack Obama isn't planning on buying TurboTax®. Obama can turbo charge our taxes all by himself.


President Obama's tax return should list Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright as dependents.

President Obama plans to start printing income tax forms on Kleenex, so it will be easier for us to pay through the nose.

President Obama has just announced that he has a new plan to simplify the tax code. From now on only the Republicans will have to have to pay any taxes.

Q. Who should be listed as the most expensive dependent on your tax return?
A. President Obama.

President Obama will make it a lot easier for most people to do their income taxes next year. No jobs, no income.

Under Obama everyone in America will be working for the government. Democrats will be on the payrolls and Republicans will be on the tax rolls.

In the interest of full disclosure, President Obama's should declare all of the fawning media coverage he's received so far as a gift on his tax return.

Despite what some people are claiming, this country is just as free under the Obama presidency as it ever was . . . unless you happen to be a taxpayer.

If President Obama listed free enterprise on his tax return, it would have to be listed as a liability. That's because he just writes it off.

Today the IRS released new guidelines on how to avoid audits while Obama is the president. Number one - Don't list excessive deductions. Number two - File your return on time. Number three - Register to vote as a Democrat.

Judging by his wild spending so far, President Obama has apparently decided that it is easier to trim the taxpayers than to trim federal spending.

Don't think of it as paying more taxes. Think of it as giving Obama a big tip.

Thanks to President Obama we will become a more honest people. Once we're all jobless there won't be any point in lying on our tax returns.

Next year's "stimulus" tax return will fit on a postcard.
* How much money did you make?
* Mail it in.

President Obama intends to reward ambition. With higher taxes.

Now that Obama is the President you can still get ahead if you get up early in the morning, work late every day and hit the lottery.

[Darksheare]

In my coworker’s case, ‘sweet’ is a backhanded insult as she is far from it.

I’m not gonna spoil the surprise for her either.
It’s just too much fun watching her hope and pray to her thinmint god.

[fredhead]

I have a neighbor who plastered his house with Obama signs during the campaign. He took all of them down except the one on his chimney.

Tacky, tacky, tacky......

[OregonRancher]

My neighbors are just as prepared and one of them has enough guns and ammo to outfit a lot of third world countries.
Around here we practice the three “S’s”.

[Darksheare]

Gotta love the empty minded zombies who thought Zero didn’t have an agenda.
At the least as a base minimum requirement, the candidate should at least have some record of accomplishments to hsi name other than merely voting ‘present’.
Imagine the howls from the left if a Republican had the same amount of accomplishments that Zero has?
We’d be deaf within an hour from the cacophany of screams.

[llevrok]

[sunny48]

Supper, Sex, & Silence?

Sh*t, Shower, and Shave?

Sight, Sound & Scent?

[llevrok]

Too bad there isn’t an adult section at FR

Ok, I'll try

FACTOID From Wikipedia
In the human male, the urethra is about 8 inches (17.5 cm) long and opens at the end of the penis. The inside of the urethra has a spiral groove (like rifling in a gun barrel), which makes the urine flow in a wide stream.

Spiral groove?

[lilylangtree]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.

“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“For reading a book,” she replies.

“You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her again.

“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”

The officer explains again, “Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.

[a fool in paradise]

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[Travis T. OJustice]

?