****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

[Lucky9teen]

Cue music ~ (Pink Floyd - Money)



California is in the hole for $42 billion, so a budget has been proposed. I’m no financial expert, but when you have no money, and no prospects of making money, and you owe $42 billion, you’re way beyond putting yourself on a budget. I think you’re looking at faking your own death.

People say the problem with the budget is that they don’t understand what’s in it. Well of course they don’t. Look who’s explaining it to them — Arnold Schwarzenegger!

President Obama signed the stimulus bill in Denver, Colo. He picked Denver because our debt is now a mile high. It’s symbolic.

Terrible economy. Terrible. If you have any money left, do what I do: Invest in foreclosure signs.

Even Donald Trump has said he would like to reduce his debt. I say, How about reducing the size of that thing on your head?

Obama has addressed two of the three problems he said he would to avert a financial crisis . . . the first was to get the stimulus package passed, the second was the housing crisis, and the third is to get all of us to eat our pets.

Things are bad in California. Gov. Schwarzenegger has done everything he can to get fellow Republicans to back his plan because it involves a tax increase. He told them he’d be back; he’s said, “Hasta la vista, baby”; he even threatened to terminate them.

Reports say that President Obama is moving towards the Swedish models of banking. A president moving towards Swedish models? That hasn’t happened since the Clinton administration.

Top Ten Things Hillary Clinton Wants To Accomplish On Her Trip Overseas

10. Exchange U.S. dollars for currency that's worth something
9. Win respect defeating Japan's top-ranked sumo wrestler
8. Shift world's perception of America from "hated" to "extremely disliked"
7. Personally thank all of her illegal campaign donors
6. Three words: stylish Indonesian pantsuits
5. Visit burial site of revered Chinese military leader, General Tso
4. Get drunk with that Japanese finance minister guy
3. Convince China to switch from lead-tainted products to mercury-tainted products
2. Catch Chinese screening of Benjamin Button entitled "The Strange Adventures of Freaky Grandpa Baby"
1. Pick up carton of duty-free smokes for Obama

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit Obama's national debt." -- Tip o'the hat to Herbert Hoover

Based on his performance in office so far, President Obama should do just fine on his future tax returns. After all, he will be able to write off his second term.

It's too bad that we can't buy stock in the federal tax system. With Obama as president that will be only thing sure to go up.

President Obama is angrily calling for more federal tax increases. He just heard from his advisors that some American taxpayers weren't completely broke yet.

The best things in life are free but President Obama's tax advisors are working hard trying to solve that problem.

Barack Obama isn't planning on buying TurboTax®. Obama can turbo charge our taxes all by himself.


President Obama's tax return should list Bill Ayers and Reverend Wright as dependents.

President Obama plans to start printing income tax forms on Kleenex, so it will be easier for us to pay through the nose.

President Obama has just announced that he has a new plan to simplify the tax code. From now on only the Republicans will have to have to pay any taxes.

Q. Who should be listed as the most expensive dependent on your tax return?
A. President Obama.

President Obama will make it a lot easier for most people to do their income taxes next year. No jobs, no income.

Under Obama everyone in America will be working for the government. Democrats will be on the payrolls and Republicans will be on the tax rolls.

In the interest of full disclosure, President Obama's should declare all of the fawning media coverage he's received so far as a gift on his tax return.

Despite what some people are claiming, this country is just as free under the Obama presidency as it ever was . . . unless you happen to be a taxpayer.

If President Obama listed free enterprise on his tax return, it would have to be listed as a liability. That's because he just writes it off.

Today the IRS released new guidelines on how to avoid audits while Obama is the president. Number one - Don't list excessive deductions. Number two - File your return on time. Number three - Register to vote as a Democrat.

Judging by his wild spending so far, President Obama has apparently decided that it is easier to trim the taxpayers than to trim federal spending.

Don't think of it as paying more taxes. Think of it as giving Obama a big tip.

Thanks to President Obama we will become a more honest people. Once we're all jobless there won't be any point in lying on our tax returns.

Next year's "stimulus" tax return will fit on a postcard.
* How much money did you make?
* Mail it in.

President Obama intends to reward ambition. With higher taxes.

Now that Obama is the President you can still get ahead if you get up early in the morning, work late every day and hit the lottery.

[Travis T. OJustice]

!

[a fool in paradise]

Luckily Hillary and the Clintonistas are safely out of power and cannot implement Hillary’s “agenda”, right?

Do Obamabots even try to string two thoughts together?

[a fool in paradise]

Never put someone in the driver’s seat who does not have a course already planned out.

[fredhead]

[freedomlover]

Shoot, shovel, and STFU

You probly knew that tho

[OregonRancher]

Your funny!

Supper, Sex, & Silence?

Sh*t, Shower, and Shave?

Sight, Sound & Scent?

Shoot, shovel, and shut-up!

[fredhead]

Sh*t on a Shingle in a Seabag?

Just a combination of two “popular” dishes served on Navy ships.

[Darksheare]

Precisely!

[fredhead]

Horse in a bar joke.

---

This travelling salesman stops in a bar after he is done selling for the day.
Just lookin for a cold beer and a little peace.
Looks over and theres a horse in the corner with a sign around it’s neck.
Sign says If you can make me laugh you get a $1,000.
So. he asks the bartender about it and the bartender says yeh, thats right, Cost ya 2 bucks and if ya make him laugh ya get a $1,000.
Salesman walks over and whispers in the horses ear.
Damn if that horse didn’t just about split a gut laughin.
Bartender Pays up, Salesman goes about his business.
A week later the Salesman happens to be in the same area so he stops for a beer.
The horse is still laughin but he has a new sign.
Sign says, If you can make this horse stop laughin you get a $1,000.
Salesman pays his $2.00, walks over to the horse, whispers in his ear, Shows him somethin and the horse starts cryin.
Bartender pays him the $1,000 but asks what did you say to that horse ?
Salesman said
First time I told him my johnson was bigger than his.
This time I showed him.

[Bon mots]

Thanks!
I made that one from scratch. :)

[Lady Jag]

[sunny48]

My Dad likes loves that stuff.

[Allegra]

I’m enjoying your “I Can’t Believe I’m Not in Handcuffs” series. :-D

[sunny48]

Thinking about regifting? Regifting Robin will know if you are! Click on the gift box to test Regifting Robin’s psychic ability.

http://www.regiftable.com/regiftingrobinpopup.html

[fredhead]

You relaize that the first SOS is creamed chipped beef on toast, and the second is stuffed bell peppers.

S on a shingle

S in a seabag

[BenLurkin]

[Lady Jag]

Thank you! It’s been held up by persistent interruptions.

More to come.

[fredhead]

“O” needs to watch this.....

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4707/how_not_to_get_your_ass_kicked/

[Eaker]

My dear sweet coworker still believes the Obamessiah will GIVE HER money. She sincerely believes this, just like a kid believes in the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus.

He isn't going to?

Are you sure?

He said he would!

Should I start paying my mortgage again?

Oh, dear!

[sunny48]

No, I never knew about the s in a seabag