Yep, the expose would read as follows:
AP
New developments in BC Story
Two crackpot reporters, Bobby Bernstone amd Carlton Woodmark, have uncovered facts that Stanley Durham gave birth to a son in Kenya, and within a few days, flew to Hawaii to register his live birth under state provisions that would allow for him to obtain US citizenship.
Ms. Stanley, a committed Marxist and communist sympathiser, originally believed she was married on the date of the child’s birth, but subsequently learned her putative husband was a bigamist, thereby rendering the marriage void and the son illegitimate.
It was also learned that his admission into Columbia and Harvard was predicated on “pay to play” deals, and his placement on Law Review and graduation with honors resulted from a large endowment made by a wealthy Arab entreprenuer.
Her son was raised as a Muslim by her bigamist partner, and he attended a Muslim school in Indonesia. He became adept at singing the Muslim prayers and called it “the most beautiful sound”.
While at columbia he was introduced to the weathermen underground and spent most of his college days at the WU frats, located in Harlem and in downtown Manhattan.
When reached for comment on these newly discovered developments, he replied, “Present”.
That’s the kind of story that’s inevitably going to get pushed to page B-8 when you have big news like two white racists who decide to name their kid Adolph and a supermarket decides not to make a cake with his name on it.