****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

[Lucky9teen]

Well...it's Halloween and if this holiday isn't scary enough, we're 5 days away from finding out who is gonna be President....

I found this on photobucket...I wonder how many feel this way?




Q: How many Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it has to be a change the light bulb can believe in.

Barack Obama's bumpersticker: Honk If You Think I Am Jesus
John McCain's bumpersticker: Honk If You Want Amnesty for Jesús


Obama's simple but effective call to us all 'Yes, We Can'
has been adopted and adapted by numerous other groups.

A sampling:
Future Farmers of America: Yes, Pecan.
French dancers: Oui, Can Can.
Bay Area enthusiasts: Yes, San Fran.
The hearing impaired: Yes, AmSLan.
The Audubon Society: Yes, Toucan.
Web geeks: Yes, ICANN.
Wall Street: Yes, Ichan. (this one works on two levels)

Obama and Biden were in a plane going to do a campaign together...the plane crashes over the ocean, and they're both drowning...

Who gets saved?

AMERICA.

Top 10 Barack Obama Campaign Slogans:
1) Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country can take from someone else to give you!
2) Because Amerikkka is racist and you damn well know it!
3) Don’t let those Crackers keep the black man down!
4) Hey, at least he’s not Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson!
5) If you don’t vote for him you must be a racist!
6) Because you really don’t want a woman in the White House do you?
7) Because we don’t have enough socialism yet!
8) Because 20 years in the pews of a church absorbing radical, hate speech means nothing you bigot!
9) He’ll release the cure for AIDS within his first 100 hours!
10) Because Rev. Wright likes him!

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.

“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”

[sunny48]

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause.’

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’
Operator: ‘What sort of trouble??’
Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator: ‘Went away?’
Caller: ‘They disappeared.’
Operator: ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller: ‘Nothing.’
Operator: ‘Nothing??’
Caller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??’
Caller: ‘How do I tel l?’
Operator: ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen??’
Caller: ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator: ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller: ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator: ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller: ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??’
Caller: ‘I don’t know.’
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller: ‘Yes, I think so.’
Operator: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator: ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??’
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’
Caller: ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is??’
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??’
Calle ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator: ‘Dark??’
Caller: ‘Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’
Operator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller: ‘I can’t.’
Operator: ‘No? Why not??’
Caller: ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator: ‘A power .... A power failure</ U>? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??’
Caller: ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
Operator: ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller: ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator: ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??’
Operator:’Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!!!’

[fredhead]

Well, I’m back. My chili didn’t win, but all of it was eaten. I am so full of chili. I’ll be paying for this in the morning.

[ErnBatavia]

That would go over quite well in nearby Palm Springs....

[ErnBatavia]

Michelle looks like a blend of Daffy Duck and Dave Winfield in that pic...

[Dacula]

What do you call a hot dog with a hole in it?

a Hallow weinie

[Heartlander]

Little tip: Keep a roll of T.P. in the freezer.

[llevrok]

It's a rainy Halloween night. A guy is home alone when the phone rings....

He picks it up and hears, "The vindow viper is coming...". Frightned, he hangs up.

A few minutes later, the phone rings again. "The vindow viper is coming to your door!". Again, the man hangs up. Scared to death.

A few minutes later, there is a pounding on his front door. The man goes for a base ball bat to protect himself, then opens up the door.

The door knocker says, "HI! I am der vindow viper, do you vant ur vindows viped???"

[llevrok]

It's a rainy Halloween night. A guy is home alone when the phone rings....

He picks it up and hears, "The vindow viper is coming...". Frightned, he hangs up.

A few minutes later, the phone rings again. "The vindow viper is coming to your door!". Again, the man hangs up. Scared to death.

A few minutes later, there is a pounding on his front door. The man goes for a base ball bat to protect himself, then opens up the door.

The door knocker says, "HI! I am der vindow viper, do you vant ur vindows viped???"

[weegee]

Make up a 2008 Election Haiku

It's really scary.
President "Uh" Obama...
Happy Halloween

Uh-oh indeed

[weegee]

Barack Obama?
No! No! No! No! No!
No! No! Nobama!

[weegee]

Obama voters...
They will have buyers’ remorse,
this November Fifth.

[weegee]

OCTOBER SURPRISE: ALIEN ENDORSES MCCAIN!

[llevrok]

and looks like Bubba to the right too....

[dynachrome]

Me dead. me vote obama many time. Do "monster mash"!

[RedRover]

Scary movies for the squeamish...

[Girlene]

I like that story, Red. Finally a scary movie I can watch with my eyes open. Here's a great silly GOP ad if you like the Stooges.

The Three Liberals star in Running the Government

[Girlene]

In the version that was told to me, the last suitor’s name was “Chuck”. :-)