You’re making some really great points here. I think perhaps another word describing the current American relationship with our allies might be “hegemony” - whaddya think?
"Hegemony (pronounced /hɨˈdʒɛməni/ (Amer.), /hɨˈɡɛməni/ (Brit.))[1] (Greek: ἡγεμονία hēgemonía) [from hegemon - LEADER... (1567)] is a concept that has been used to describe and explain the dominance of one social group over another, such that the ruling group or hegemon acquires some degree of consent from the subordinate, as opposed to dominance purely by force.
"[2] It is used broadly to mean any kind of dominance, and narrowly to refer to specifically cultural and non-military dominance, as opposed to the related notions of empire and suzerainty.
"In international relations, a hegemon may be defined as a power that can dictate the policies of all other powers in its vicinity, or one that is able to defeat any other power or combination of powers that it might be at war with.
"Examples of (potentially) hegemonic states in history are the United States , the united Germany that had existed from 1871 to 1945,[3] or historically the Spanish and British Empire. [question: does Soviet Russia qualify as a "hegemon"? Answer: not really]
"The processes by which a dominant culture maintains its dominant position: for example, the use of institutions to formalize power; the employment of a bureaucracy to make power seem abstract (and, therefore, not attached to any one individual); the inculcation of the populace in the ideals of the hegemonic group through education, advertising, publication, etc.; the mobilization of a police force as well as military personnel to subdue opposition."
In answer to your question: I would argue that "hegemony" as generally used today implies an ugly, non-consentual relationship which is not the reality, nor has ever been for the US.
For examples, consider: what "hegemony" does the US have over the United Nations? What "hegemony" does the US exercise over, say, France or Germany? Can we dictate to Japan that they must increase their military and send troops to do our dirty work for us? I don't think so...