A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, saw it was a little low, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle- fed.
‘Breast-fed,’ she replied.
‘Well,... okay... we need to give you an examination. Strip down to your waist,’ the doctor ordered.
She did. In a detailed and professional examination, he pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while. He looked perplexed.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, ‘No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.’
‘I know,’ she said, ‘I’m his Grandma, but I’m glad I came’
Hahahaha! Good one.
In other news, my daughter’s pomeranian went for an unscheduled swim in the backyard pond yesterday. He now smells like pond scum. The fish were not amused.
He’s getting on fine with the catz, though, after the initial juggling for position. When we go to bed at night he crawls under our bed and stays with us until Whitney gets home. The catz are on the bed, he’s under it. Everybody’s happy.
Silly dog.
Quick, quick.. I need my head examined.
Had a little black kitty living in my bushes in my front lawn.
Spent 2 weeks seducing me.
I’ve been......Well you know.
How do I introduce a 13 lb cat to 157 lbs of dog.
He is really, really sweet.?
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-!-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far as$$ ki$$ing will take you.
A-$-$-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullsh!t and A$$ kissing that will put you over the top.