Posted on 08/25/2008 8:34:10 AM PDT by Moose4
}:-)4
You are supposed to negotiate with bullies. After all, that’s what they say we are supposed to do with the Iranian nutjob and other dictators.
My father was confronted with an older bully when he was in the first grade. His father told him to learn to fight his own battles, so he taunted the bully until the guy chased him around the corner...where he had stashed the 2 X 4. Knocked the guy out cold. Was never bothered by him again.
When I see someone employing a ‘zero tolerance’ policy then I know I am dealing with someone who has mush for brains.
I’m still waiting on advice on how to cope with Bullying in the workplace. I was never bullied in grade school, and are thus unprepared for the painful antics of mean and spiteful co-workers.
WTF??? My kids don't go to public school, but about a year ago some random kid at a softball game started kicking my two year old daughter. (They were with grandma at the time) I told my older kids that if anything like that ever happened again, they all needed to jump on him clawing and biting and I would make sure they didn't get into any trouble. Some kids are like animals and there's no reason to just sit there and take it.
Bullies are somewhat “inside cowards”. They bully only those who are scared of them. Stand up to a bully and, even you loose a fight, you’ll be left alone and will win respect - bullies needn’t trouble. If you win - even better. But if you stand - you loose anyway.
I was bullied in middle school.
I grew up in a pacifist religion and my mother forbade me from fighting. She told me that if I got bullied I “should do what Jesus did and just run away”. I soon found that that was the WORST advice as the predators smell blood, chase you and then beat the hell out of you even worse.
While there are multiple ways of dealing will bullies I agree that fighting back is the best. However, if you have a kid who is going to come up on the short end of the stick in every fight I believe the next best avenue is a lawyer.
Many schools (and this is not as true as it once was) believe that “boys will be boys” and fighting just happens. When you bring a lawyer into it who threatens to sue EVERYBODY the dynamics change and the school finds a way to take the bullies out of the equation.
i developed a good method for dealing with bullies in school. i would wait until a teacher was in the area and not looking, and then unprovoked totally unload on the bully. by the time the teach looked over the fight was well underway with at least a couple good licks in on the target.
this had a bunch of good effects:
-scared the heck out of the bully cause the attack was unprovoked and unexpected
-got the bully in trouble because it turned out the teachers already know who the bullies are and automatically assume they started it.
-teacher always stopped the fight before it went too far and i got really beat
never had a problem with a bully after one treatment.
i guess they call it pre-emptive these days
Teach him to fight.
“Yes, tell your parents and the school when bullying is going on, but also make it very clear that you WILL defend yourself.”
I understand your logic, but what if your kid responds to being shoved by throwing a punch, and it turns out that bully has a knife or a gun? People say that bullies will back down, but I think some are itching for a fight. Do they care about being suspended? The larger problem is that many kids do not want to be in school and prevent those who do from getting an education. A recent story “Texas To Track Truant Students By GPS” was discussed at http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2067328/posts .
Some amount of teasing is normal, and I don’t think administrators should treat that the same as physical bullying.
My middle daughter kept telling the teacher that several boys were taunting her and knocking her down in elementary school. The teacher did nothing. So after knocking her down, she went to the sports equipment barrel and took out a baseball bat, and went to work. I got called at work to come and face the music with her. I told the police officer and principal that he was ever assaulted again and the teachers ignored it, she could go get and use the same bat.
That happened to me at about the same age. We took our recesses at a local park a block away from the school. On the way, a kid bigger than I started taunting me. When we got to the park, I cold-cocked him, then jumped on him and hit him again a couple times.
I don’t recall getting into trouble (some of the other kids backed up my story), and the kid never, ever, bothered me again. That would have been back in the very late 40’s, or early 50’s. It was a different time then. And it was a Lutheran school. They weren’t very tolerant of mischief.
Fight back. Bullies don’t like getting hit.
Even if the bully wins the fight, they will find someone else to pick on in the future.
My dad had a simple policy that worked for me. His rule was, if you get into a fight, I’m going to give you 10 licks with the belt. If you loose the fight, I’m going to give you 10 more.
I only got into one fight with a bully over a game of marbles. After doing all the “stop” and other crap the teachers taught ... I popped him in the mouth and split his lip. While I got my 10 licks, I did not get the extra 10 and I was never bothered again.
I totally agree that SOMETIMES hitting back is not going to solve the problem.
You are a wise man..
You are a wise man..
Never start the fight, but always FINISH it.
When my son was bullied and jumped by two kids in the boys bathroom, he defended himself and defeated both of them.
When called in to see the principal about the incident, she said it was school policy that he would be suspended for three days, and, she wanted to know what other punishment we would consider.
My response: well, he's going to the zoo with his grandmother on one day, and to an amusement park with me on another...because my son didn't start the fight, he simply did what anyone should do - he defended himself!
She was apoplectic! Could not understand - oh well - we went ahead and rewarded him for doing the RIGHT thing!
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