****The Official Olympic Friday Silliness Thread****

[Lucky9teen]

"The big news from China is that the adorable little girl who sang the National Anthem for the opening ceremony was lip-syncing. This is outrageous. If you can't trust an oppressive, totalitarian dictatorship..." --Craig Ferguson

"China is getting ready for the Olympics. The official motto for the Olympics is 'One World, One Dream.' Restrictions Apply. Tibet Not Included." --Jay Leno

"There's excitement in the air over the Olympics...also lead, arsenic, benzene." --David Letterman

"Beijing skies are so polluted that Chinese authorities are planning emergency measures for the Olympics. For example, protesters will now only be run over with hybrid tanks." --Jay Leno

"Now you think I'm exaggerating, but they had a practice today in Beijing for the Olympics and a javelin thrower threw the javelin up into the air and it stuck." --David Letterman

"The government of China announced that it will ban restaurants from serving dog meat during the Olympics. Which gives new meaning to the phrase, 'Hello Kitty.'" --Conan O'Brien

"China has announced that during the Olympics, protesters will be allowed to assemble in designated protest areas. Yeah. Or, as they're commonly called in China, jails." --Conan O'Brien

"China is getting ready for the Olympics. The skies over Beijing are very smoggy. The government says the pollution is just a harmless mist. They made a similar statement about the treatment of prisoners - it's not torture, it's Pilates." --Craig Ferguson


"Today in Beijing, a small group of demonstrators gathered to protest China's repressive government. Funeral services will be held on Friday." --Conan O'Brien

"Everybody going to the Olympics is concerned about the air quality in China. There is a lot of smog. Friends over there tell me that the air in China looks like the air in Willie Nelson's tour bus." --David Letterman

"The Olympics start the Friday after next -- pollution permitting. For some reason, they're having them in Beijing, which means the Chinese government right now is very hard at work trying to cover up all the horrible things about their country . It's like when your mom comes to visit your dorm room." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The United States Olympic bicycle team got off the plane yesterday wearing air filter masks on their faces. They're the same masks that kids have to wear when they play with Chinese-made toys." --David Letterman


"An Ethiopian runner has dropped out of the Olympics because he thinks the pollution could damage his health. He said the air has made him so sick, he can barely not eat." --Conan O'Brien

"China has announced that they're shutting down several of their largest factories for the rest of the summer -- so that there will be less pollution for the Olympics. Chinese officials say: 'Sorry, but for the next few months, you're going to have to buy your lead-coated toys somewhere else." --Conan O'Brien

"China is upset because somebody leaked a video of the rehearsal for the Olympics Opening Ceremony on the Internet. I don't want to give away too much, but it ends with the lighting of a torch." --Conan O'Brien

"The government of China has banned restaurants from serving dog meat during the Olympics. This is particularly bad news for the popular Chinese fast food chain, 'McDachsunds.' --Conan O'Brien

[lilylangtree]

Chinese word for constipation: “Hung Chow”

[Lucky9teen]

[Notwithstanding]

USA
Gold Silver Bronze Raw Total
31 36 35 102

G x 3 S x 2 B x 1 Weighted Total
93 72 35 200

China
Gold Silver Bronze Raw Total
47 17 25 89

G x 3 S x 2 B x 1 Weighted Total
141 34 25 200

[Lucky9teen]

Ouch...

[crusty old prospector]

Yours must be better as we are only up to 21 years.

[Rightly Biased]

Is it Chuck’s turn to play the name game yet he should go right after Mitch.

[ErnBatavia]

Michael Phelps very first baby picture...

[Cyber Liberty]

Here Comes the Sun - The Beatles

[fredhead]

Come Monday - Jimmy Buffett

[fredhead]

Satan and the Old Man

---

People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan
appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and
running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to
get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church
except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without
moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was
in
his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, ‘Don’t you know who
I am?’

The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’

‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.

‘Nope, sure
ain’t.’ said the man.

‘Don’t you realize I can kill with a word?’ asked Satan.

‘Don’t doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an
even
tone.

‘Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY
for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.

‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.

‘And you’re still not afraid?’ asked Satan.

‘Nope,’ said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘Well, why aren’t you
afraid of me?’

The man calmly replied, ‘Been married to your sister for 44
years.

[NavySon]

“Coming Back to Life” -Pink Floyd

[Lucky9teen]

Blue Monday - New Order

[fredhead]

Still Got the Blues (for You) - Gary Moore

[weegee]

OLYMPIC FAIL

[Lucky9teen]

The Facts of Life (theme song) - Rae

[absolootezer0]

Still Got the Blues (for You) - Gary Moore
sing along. dave matthews and blue man group.

[NavySon]

“These are the Days of Our Lives” -Queen

[r-q-tek86]

mind games - john lennon

Games People Play - Joe South

[r-q-tek86]

Hey ArGee... good to see you.

[Daffynition]

HAHAHAHA! OMG ...HAHAHAHA!

Thanks EB!