[Monkey Face]

LOL!

Um...did you just describe ice cream?

[NicknamedBob]

Try this one:

Per 12 fluid ounces, calories 132, carbohydrates 10.5 grams, protein 1.3 grams, fat 0.0 grams, no sugar, no salt, no preservatives.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Most ice cream has at least three of the listed ingredients but I have yet to run across one that had all of the ones named in my list. I keep looking and hoping. :)

Oddly enough the very best ice cream for the money is the store brand half gallon bricks. Just check to see if it has natural flavors (buy) or artificial (usually pass).

Don't buy the buckets unless you are feeding kids at a party and, as a general rule, the rounder the container the less ice cream you are getting for the money.

Check to make sure you are actually getting "ice cream" not "frozen dairy desert" ice cream has at least 10% butter fat. The more premium the brand the higher the butterfat.

Lots of formerly premium brands have cut the amount of butter fat so drastically that they are now frozen dairy deserts. If you think your old brand of ice cream doesn't taste quite a smooth or rich as you remember your mind is not playing tricks on you. It probably isn't.

Thus ends the ice cream lecture for today.