Posted on 08/13/2008 8:18:30 PM PDT by SamAdams76
Ludwig Van Beethoven is dead but he did write some pretty good music while he was alive. Which is why I would like to have him buried in my backyard. Now I know that he is currently interred in Germany or Austria or some such remote place right now but how many people over here in the United States have actually gotten to see his grave? Not many I would speculate.
So therefore, I would like to step up to the plate and have the remains of Ludwig Van Beethoven be moved to my back yard where I can have it be a stateside tourist attraction.
Now with regard to classical music, Beethoven gets relatively little respect. Consider that Wolfgang Mozart had an award-winning movie made about him ("Amadeus") but Beethoven's movie ("Immortal Beloved") enjoyed much less success. Damn! Beethoven deserved so much better.
Which is why I would like to have Beethoven's grave moved to my backyard here in northern Massachusetts near the New Hampshire border.
Now I live just 30 miles NW of Boston so that would be an easy commute for those wishing to visit Beethoven's body in my backyard. Just land in Logan Airport and I am about a half hour away.
I would love to see the tourist industry pop up all around me once Beethoven's body is moved into my backyard. Tons of cheap-rent motels, fast food outlets, casual dining restaurants and all kinds of Beethoven museums, shrines and other Beethoven-themed tourist traps.
I'm even thinking a bar named "Ludwig's" right down the street from me. I will even open this bar myself and ensure that it is staffed by catankerous old men who all dress like Beethoven back in the day. Like Beethoven, patrons can saunter in with a book to read and down a pint or two while picking their noses and giving the waitstaff a wicked hard time. Just like Beethoven used to do!
Now I will of course treat Beethoven's grave with respect and I will allow visitors at no more than a $5 viewing charge. After all, Beethoven wrote for the masses and his viewing should be affordable to the masses. No Fenway Park pricing out of me - I promise!
I will also be sure to pipe in constant Beethoven music at the graveyard site 24/7. I'm thinking of alternating his Sixth symphony, the Moonlight Sonata and the first movement of the Fifth Piano Concerto. I don't want to add any more music than that as I don't want people lingering too long. After all, just like a restaurant likes to "turn the tables", I want to give everybody in America a fair chance to view Beethoven's gravesite.
Now how about helping me to convince Germany and/or Austria to let me have Beethoven's body and gravestone moved to the United States of America!
I mean, Germany and Austria are pretty much right in the middle of nowhere and far away from the United States so not many people ever get the opportunity to pay their respects to the famous composer. Clearly it makes better sense to move Beethoven over here where more people will get to see him.
I'm thinking that letters need to start going to John McCain right now to get the process started. After all, he will be president soon and wouldn't it be nice if his first act as president was to get the body of Ludwig van Beethoven moved over to the United States - more specifically to my backyard!
Now like I said before, I will promise to treat the Beethoven gravesite with nothing but respect. In fact, I have already cleared a part of my yard to make room for Beethoven's grave. I cleaned out all the dog poop and I picked up all the empty beer cans and other litter. The piece of ground where I intend to bury Beethoven is now absolutely spotless and free of debris. Furthermore, I am repairing the fence that goes around my yard so that we can keep out vandals, trespassers and other riff-raff.
I am serious about bringing the body of Beethoven to American and you should be too. Beethoven belongs in America and we shall not rest until it is a done deal.
rofl
Heh! First of all, he’s buried in Vienna, Austria. I planted a red begonia next to his grave ten years ago.
Secondly, if he’s gonna be relocated to the USA, he absolutely, positively MUST be planted in MY little Paradise on the California Coast. He’s been living here and keeping my house very messy for over ten years now, since I did my Master’s on him.
Thirdly, I’m not pleased with your selection of the piped-in music. I think I could come up with a much better combination.
Have your guys call my guys.
Thnx.
Decomposing! LOL! Even Ludwig would laugh at that one.
Yeah, and Walt Disney isn’t dead, he’s in a state of suspended animation.
What are your suggestions for piped-in music at Beethoven’s gravesite? I’m thinking of adding the 1st movement of the “Kreutzer” piano sonata.
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