He had every advantage of birth and wealth, and was raised to have a finely tuned sense of honor and decorum.
He chose a military career out of devotion to the example of his father the Revolutionary hero.
He was exemplary in every way.
And then he was faced with the choice between honoring his oath as an officer of the US Army and offending his neighbor's sensibilities, or breaking his oath and saving face.
He chose the latter.
It's interesting how one bad choice can affect the entire life of even the most accomplished and gracious individual.
“And then he was faced with the choice between honoring his oath as an officer of the US Army and offending his neighbor’s sensibilities, or breaking his oath and saving face.”
I don’t think it was as simple as that and had the South prevailed, it would not be termed a “bad” choice. Even as the South did not prevail, I doubt if Lee thought his choice was a bad one, but the one his conscience told him he had to make.
Most Northerners probably had a greater sense of nationhood than did most Southerners. Before the Civil War, it was “these United States” and after the civil war it became “the United States”. But even northerners had a strong sense of statehood back then.
I think Lee thought as his father would have thought - that the Union was a voluntary compact of states and one’s primary loyalty was to one’s state. You may think his choice was a bad one, but in Lee’s thinking he made the only honorable one, regardless of circumstances.
Saving face?
What an ignorant statement.
Lee was a Southerner and refused to participate in the invasion of seceded states which, as you may or may not know, included his home state of Virginia.
I think the union really got him back when they started Arlington. I think about 30 years later his son or grandson got a little money out of congress.