[SmithL]

Morfordite Alert

You have been warned!

[Charles Martel]

...like a rogue rash, an STD, flaring up at unexpected times and in unexpected places and when it fades, you gently let yourself forget all about it until it suddenly erupts and hits hard and ruins your day, and then you can only sit back and moan softly, slather on ointment, shudder.

Enough about your personal life, Mark.

[DuncanWaring]

The second sentence of the second paragraph seem to reveal a very detailed, personal, first-hand knowledge of the subject being discussed.

[KarlInOhio]

Morford - from the Anglo-Saxon "Mo" meaning attention or warning and "Rford" originally "rrrfoooordg" from the result of drinking too much cheap mead.

"Morford" signs can still be seen at the entrances of some British alehouses warning patrons that the floor might be slippery.

[xcamel]

(Feel free to steal this one!)

[avacado]

"...like a rogue rash, an STD, flaring up at unexpected times and in unexpected places and when it fades, you gently let yourself forget all about it until it suddenly erupts and hits hard and ruins your day, and then you can only sit back and moan softly, slather on ointment, shudder."

Well! The mystery has been solved as to why Morford's boyfriend left him at the alter.

[ArchAngel1983]

Where to begin!?!? This article is like stuffing 10 pounds of $hit into one sandwich baggie. How’d he do that?

[RichInOC]

Ah, Markie...the Emcee of the Kit Kat Club Cabaret that is San Francisco in the 21st Century.

[HoosierHawk]

Another brain-addled rant from a libtard loser.

It makes my day. : )

[KarlInOhio]

Here is your Bush-loaded Supreme Court,

Huh? Mark, go back to your crotch scratching you referred to earlier and let sensible people analyze this.

Roberts replaced Rehnquist as chief justice. Other than being much younger and therefore likely around for much longer, this wasn't much of an ideological change.

Alito replaced O'Connor. That was a shift from middle to occasionally right (especially in her dissent on the odious Kelo decision), to someone on the right. A change, but not an earth shaking shift.

It's not like he had Ginsburg and Stevens arrested, shipped off to Gitmo and replaced with two of Scalia's secret clones grown for the past twenty years in a lab underneath the Federalist Society. (I can dream, can't I?)

[weegee]

This is the state of the nation after having swallowed the malicious worm of Bush. We have, by all accounts, suffered — and somehow survived — the very worst of the illness, the cancer, the oozing spirit

We have not survived the cancer of Socialism, only paused its expansion at times. It is a malignant growth that is killing this country.

Meanwhile I did not know that worms can give you cancer.

There is a proper way to apply a metaphor and a wrong way.

[kb2614]

LOL!!!

This dude is hilarious!!

[wita]

It is quite apparent that the newspaper does not have an editor worth anything, and truth is not one of it’s guiding principles. This guy would be on the street faster than you can say phtt were an adult in charge.

[Pontiac]

in case you forgot, much of America still blindly loves its guns,...

I’m Blind! I’m Blind!

[steve-b]

like a rogue rash, an STD

Even if Morford knows nothing else about the craft of writing, the lesson "Write What You Know" has stuck with him.

[steve-b]

the utterly phony idea, put forth by Justice Antonin Scalia himself, that only violence prevents violence

If a gang of skinhead punks decides to rearrange Morford's face because they take exception to his sexual preferences, which is more likely to dissuade them: sweet reason or a 38-caliber migraine for the leader of their pack?

[an amused spectator]

Ooooooooh - Missy has got its panties in a twist!

Well, I will say that Missy KNOWS STDs, in ways that WE don't want to know about...

[TLI]

the very worst of the illness, the cancer, the oozing spirit. But now, as America's worst president prepares to amble off the stage he never deserved to be on in the first place, it is time to prepare for any number of convulsions, aftershock, excruciating reminders.

much of America still blindly loves its guns, and of course handguns are a nice addition to any God-fearing family's arsenal of ridiculous self-defense weaponry

loaded with sadness and a feeling of despair, the cruel notion that America is still defined by its love of violence

more paranoid NASCAR dads stocking Glocks in the rec room to protect the rug rats from those icky drug-dealing rapists who never come.

not to mention fondled by those same curious rug rats who find daddy's little Elvis in the sock drawer

the Bush virus will be with us for years, generations

nefarious arrangements, a corruption so deep that normally staid historians are behaving more like alarmed climate-change scientists:

a rogue outsourced military, citizens who can no longer sue gun manufacturers, six straight years of increased poverty, untold numbers of homophobic, misogynistic judicial appointees, devastating environmental policies

no president in modern history has done more to unravel the American identity, to dumb down the populace and cater to the basest instincts of man

the lesson of any major injury, of surviving a serious illness

ignoring the scar, or looking away from our permanent deformity

letting the scale of the wound fuel us

do we have enough optimistic ointment

WHEW! That is one sick puppy! I betcha one of his hobbies is to write daytime soap opera pilots while daydreaming about a sex change operation. Check this description...

Mark Morford is a columnist for sfgate.com and the San Francisco Chronicle. He also teaches yoga, subscribes to magazines, admires trees, detests shrill alarmism (including his own), sleeps naked. He has not seen your blog, but is sure it's amazing. He never wears sneakers. He writes about politics, pop culture, sex, music, design, a wry and punch-drunk universe, vibrators, scotch, media, spirituality and small European cars. And sometimes, genital grooming. Email him here. Subscribe to his Notes & Errata column here. Or dig into the RSS feed

Genital grooming? sick sick sick sick...

[an amused spectator]

I called the popcorn company, and they're sending a semi over right away.

;-)

[CDHart]

This guy is awful - I can't believe he finds anyone to publish him.

Carolyn

[NativeSon]

This is the state of the nation after having swallowed the malicious worm of Bush.

This is how the treacherous speak about our C N C? and when we are at war?

But using Barry's middle name or pointing out his lies are somehow racist/hateful/etc ?

We need to play hard and tough. These anti-American scum deserve no quarter!