LOL beer did not help the situation!
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...But that’s not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here’s the worst of it —
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for
> > the night. After they got their tent all set up,
> > both men fell sound a sleep. Some hours later, Tonto
> > wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look
> > towards sky, what you see?”
> >
> > The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”
> >
> > “What that tell you?” asked Tonto.
> >
> > The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
> > “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are
> > millions of galaxies and potentially billions of
> > planets. Astrologically, it tells me that saturn is
> > in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a
> > quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it’s
> > evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
> > insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will
> > have a beautiful day tomorrow.”
> >
> > “What’s it tell you, Tonto?”
> >
> > Tonto is silent for a moment, and then says, “Kemo
> > Sabe, you dumber than buffalo dung. It means someone
> > stole tent.”