Posted on 06/01/2008 5:39:33 PM PDT by Soaring Feather
LOL beer did not help the situation!
So I followed it up with something sweet:
Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this -- especially all the ladies who bake for church events.
Alice was to bake a cake for the churchwomen’s group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute.
She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat.
She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake."
So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.
Alice found it in the bathroom ... a roll of toilet paper.
She plunked it in and covered it with icing.
The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church.
Before she left the house, Alice had given her daughter some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened, and to buy that cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold.
Alice was beside herself.
The next day, Alice was invited to a friend's home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon.
After the game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert.
Alice saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, "What a beautiful cake!"
Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say .
"Thank you, I baked it myself."
Alice probably went WHEW.
Well, that settled that.
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...
If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...But that’s not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it’s especially hard to see things up close
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here’s the worst of it —
Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for
> > the night. After they got their tent all set up,
> > both men fell sound a sleep. Some hours later, Tonto
> > wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look
> > towards sky, what you see?”
> >
> > The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”
> >
> > “What that tell you?” asked Tonto.
> >
> > The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
> > “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are
> > millions of galaxies and potentially billions of
> > planets. Astrologically, it tells me that saturn is
> > in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a
> > quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it’s
> > evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
> > insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will
> > have a beautiful day tomorrow.”
> >
> > “What’s it tell you, Tonto?”
> >
> > Tonto is silent for a moment, and then says, “Kemo
> > Sabe, you dumber than buffalo dung. It means someone
> > stole tent.”
LOL!
Absolutely hilarious~~~~~~~~~
I laughed! I have never understood how chili making one’s mouth go numb is a sign of good chili.
Some people just love 4 alarm chili. I do like food that is spicy but not like the kind described in the post.
I’m more a 2 alarm lover.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto stopped in the desert for
ROTFLOL!
I have eaten some food that made me sweat profusely, ears ring and my entire body temperature seemed to rise. I avoided that stuff from there on. I am maybe a 2 - 3 alarm person. I do love to eat Habaneros whole.
IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...
Hilarious!
ROFLOL
Habaneros
I don’t know how to pronounce it let alone eat one.
I scored smack dab in the middle, almost. 45 is my score.
I believe that they rank about 300,000 units on the Scoville heat index.
I could get all that by just being outside today..save the ears ringing..(It’s 87 at almost 9pm) I want to savor my food... not be under attack!
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