[Conservativegreatgrandma]

I'm so sorry. Thurs. evening our Lutherans for Life group will be pounding several hundred white crosses in our church yard. Each cross will represent thousands of babies who have lost their lives to abortion.

I will be thinking, and praying for you and your little one as I pound these in the yard.

We will also be having a memorial service and I will be praying for you. I hope that's ok. Jesus heals.

[grellis]

First, thank you for your prayers. That means so much to me, honestly.

I've gone through stages...the chemically induced fugue, not wanting to face what I'd done; blaming others; sobering up and accepting responsibility (followed by years of marrow-deep self-hatred)...I finally came to realize that, being truly regretful, I had to accept God's forgiveness, and I had to forgive myself. I've done that, and the change in my life has been remarkable.

But still, I live with what I have done, every day. It's not always easy but it is absolutely necessary. I could no more go through a day without a single thought for my three beautiful boys than I could go through a day with no thought for the baby I so selfishly sacrificed. That is my baby, my family.