I've gone through stages...the chemically induced fugue, not wanting to face what I'd done; blaming others; sobering up and accepting responsibility (followed by years of marrow-deep self-hatred)...I finally came to realize that, being truly regretful, I had to accept God's forgiveness, and I had to forgive myself. I've done that, and the change in my life has been remarkable.
But still, I live with what I have done, every day. It's not always easy but it is absolutely necessary. I could no more go through a day without a single thought for my three beautiful boys than I could go through a day with no thought for the baby I so selfishly sacrificed. That is my baby, my family.
You, and your baby will be remembered in our prayers Thurs. night. If I can, I’ll get a photo of the crosses and e-mail you or do you just need to try to forget this? God bless.