I don't think most Southerners like things to be "sugar-coated." I think the best of us can be direct without being in someone's face. The worst of us are just as rude as anyone from anywhere. When I was at Penn State, I obviously knew plenty of folks from Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. I was aware of a difference in outlook, but I never thought that describing that difference in terms of being rude was really accurate.
As in any job, I think you use a different “personna” to speak to people than when you’re with people you know. That’s simple professionalism. I don’t think Pittsburghers are particularly rude...in fact, they generally go out of their way to help people. Even when driving, they’ll “wave you in” when you’re trying to merge. I think that with the men around here, there’s a certain “macho-ness” that men have trouble verbalizing their feelings. Around here, a romantic gesture is when a guy will change your oil and air filter on your car for you.
With me, I grew up around too many guys, and I tend to make every guy my friend. I’m not very good at the acting girlie and flirtatious stuff.
As for “difficult conversations”, those are usually the ones between me and the boss or me and my priest.