Posted on 04/18/2008 5:16:41 PM PDT by WFTR
I understand what you are saying, but for many of us, the expansion to more southern locations has given us a great new form of entertainment.
You’re on. I’ll definitely trade you that for dreary, rainy, overcast, snowy, gloomy most of the time weather.
In person, I have no time to think about what the other person is saying and respond based on that consideration. I can prepare what I'm going to say, but if the other person has a perspective that I hadn't considered, then I don't have time for careful consideration. I can try to "win" by overcoming his perspective with the strength of my ideas, but that solution removes the possibility that we'll find a better answer that incorporates both of our perspectives. I can try to listen and consider his perspective during the conversation, but in doing so, I risk letting him "win" by overcoming my position while I think about what he's said.
The beauty of some form of written discussion is that I can carefully consider every point in context. I can let whatever emotion arises within me play itself out before trying to respond. I don't have to spend energy fighting the emotion. I can let the emotion blow through my mind like a storm and then consider things when I find the calm on the other side. I can read the other person's words over and over in order to understand whether his positions are internally consistent. If the discussion leads us to a better idea, I can find that idea more easily. If the discussion only proves me right, then I can explain more carefully exactly why I'm right.
Of course, the other side of this coin is that much of communication is not only in the words. In writing, we lose body language and voice tone completely. If both people in the discussion have some skill in writing what they want to say, then this loss can be overcome. If one or both of them cannot communicate well using only the words, then the loss is nearly impossible to overcome.
Yep, I would be incredibly nervous trying to talk on the radio as you do.
I didn’t feel any earthquake that I can remember.
Beautiful.
I think some of the higher level of self-disclosure in internet conversation goes back to what I said in a previous post. If I'm trying to talk to someone, I have to come up with all of the words in the right order with the right tone while the person is sitting there staring at me. If I'm trying to develop a point and the person asks a question or makes a statement, then everything that I've tried to do to develop my point may be lost in the confusion. If I start to say something and the words come out wrong, I can't just hit the backspace key and say them again so that they'll be right. I can't say something, wait an hour, listen to what I said to see whether I spoke as I meant to speak, and then go back and make my statement correctly. As a result of these limitations, I am less inclined to discuss certain topics in live conversation.
I've never read Les Miserables, so I can't help you there.
That’s beautiful. What did you get?
That’s great that you have some experience as a caller. I’ve never done much calling, and I haven’t enjoyed the experience when I have.
For more casual conversations with people who are my friends, the live conversation is nice because there is more communication of the true feelings and stuff. If I just want to experience someone as a friend, nothing beats live. If I need to resolve something, I prefer the more controlled venue. Does that make sense?
Yes, but in a lot of cases it’s the feelings that determine the facts! Look at Liberals! lol :~P
Ironically, knarf and I live in SW Pennsylvania, near Pittsburgh. Maybe it’s a Burgh thing, but people around here don’t usually mince words. They can be really “in your face” sometimes. We’re not like “Southerners” who try to be polite and sugar coat everything while trying not to offend anyone. I’m a dental hygienist and it takes a lot of practice to learn how to communicate well with patients. There are enough stressors in a dental office to begin with. It helps to be good in the PR department. Patients who get offended by what you say won’t be patients very long. I almost have to follow a “script” to avoid blurting things out that are inappropriate. It’s a struggle for me to be an effective communicator.
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