Octopus sex is more complex than you'd think

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 4/17/8 | Patricia Yollin

[maggief]

Bigger is better

The researchers also observed males selecting their mates.

“Males prefer large females,” Caldwell said. “If you're going to invest in guarding, you want to get the most bang for your buck.”

The large females were preferred because they produced more eggs.

“It was very common to have a very large male next to a large female,” Huffard said. “He could give her his sperm without leaving his den, and she didn't leave hers. Nobody has to give up their apartment.”

There are a few jokes in there.

[Phlap]

I do my best to never think about octopus sex.

[andy58-in-nh]

Anything out on porcupine sex yet????

It's like a Kennedy family reunion: full of numerous and insufferable pricks.

[rednesss]

Or a DNC rally.

[allmendream]

Not only that! But the male leaves behind a waxy secretion that forms a “vaginal plug” ensuring that the next male (if there is one) is going to have an even harder time trying to mate.

[RandallFlagg]

That movie poster always cracked me up.
Looks like his legs are two and a half times the length of his torso.

[LibertarianLiz]

Octopus sex is more complex than you'd think

The honest truth is, that until this very moment, octopus sex is something that I have NEVER thought about, let alone whether or not it is or is not "complex".

Who writes these headlines?

[ZX12R]

Who writes these headlines?

Weirdos...obviously.

[Bob]

From your link:

Male porcupines may give vent to the occasional scream as well, but it's from frustration, not pain: the female is only sexually receptive 8-12 hours per year.

Wow, the things that you learn on the internet -- I had never realized that my ex was a porcupine.

[RikaStrom]

The things you can learn here at FR. :-)

[Larry Lucido]

"lead author on a study recently published in Marine Biology"

[SwedishConservative]

Octopuses are believed to have roughly the same level of intelligence as a cat, which is quite extraordinary considering they are 200-300 million years older as a species. They have both short- and long-term memory, they learn by observation and they have remarkable problem-solving capability as well as the ability to distinguish between complex patterns and shapes. These are all characteristics which are usually only attributed to higher-order mammals. Octopuses are anything but ‘simple’.

Sorry for going off on a track here, a bit of a ‘geek’ on this.

[Slings and Arrows]

But the male leaves behind a waxy secretion that forms a “vaginal plug”...

Male porcupines may give vent to the occasional scream as well, but it's from frustration, not pain: the female is only sexually receptive 8-12 hours per year...

There has to be an Eliot Spitzer joke in there somewhere.

[Mr. Brightside]

Male Octopus: You faked with me?

Female Octopus: I faked it.

Male Octopus: That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?

Female Octopus: Not bad huh?

Male Octopus: What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?

Female Octopus: Fake, fake, fake, fake.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I now know more about the sex lives of Octpii then I ever dreamed possible. Can't wait to bring it up at the next office party.

[Daffynition]

All this talk of sex ... I have to take a shower ...

[SmithL]

Only six arms?

That would make it a sextipus.

[Daffynition]

Musta been all the ink ... I swear I saw "8"! ;-P