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To: Soaring Feather; NY Attitude; Lady Jag; tongue-tied; SevenofNine; MEG33; WayzataJOHNN; StarCMC; ...

Today's FEEBLE

YOKE:

Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex:

The 1st kind of sex: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex: Hallway Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind: Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month, but not enough to live on.

98 posted on 04/04/2008 4:04:08 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...............CHANGE We Can Believe............My "VOICES"!....)

To: Soaring Feather; NY Attitude; Lady Jag; tongue-tied; SevenofNine; MEG33; WayzataJOHNN; StarCMC; ...

FINAL

CUBS 6

Brewers 3

NEXT GAME:

TODAY!

April 4 @ 1:20 PM CST
Radio: WGN 720

99 posted on 04/04/2008 4:05:22 AM PDT by tomkow6 (...............CHANGE We Can Believe............My "VOICES"!....)

To: tomkow6; Soaring Feather; NY Attitude; WayzataJOHNN; Kathy in Alaska; MEG33; tongue-tied; ...

Everyone is in a hurry to scream "racism" these days!   Well one day Joe goes into a store, finds a clerk and says: "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?" The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?

The guy (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something.

If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would you?   Would you?"

The clerk says, "Well, no!"

"If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

"Well, I probably wouldn't!"

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says, "Well then, why did you ask me   if I'm Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?"

The clerk replies, "Because you're in Home Depot."

183 posted on 04/04/2008 9:00:28 AM PDT by Lady Jag ( I dreamed I surfed all day in my monthly donor wonder bra - https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate)

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