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The worst, most humiliating baby names
PMSNBC.com ^ | ??? | ???

Posted on 03/22/2008 8:56:19 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows

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To: Slings and Arrows

There’s a guy in Yakima, WA named Ben Dover. I remember seeing his name in the phone book when I was a teenager. That had to be tough to grow up with. I’m not sure if he has a sister named Ilene.

I once knew a Michael Hawk. He’d punch you in the nose if you called him Mike.


81 posted on 03/23/2008 8:57:32 AM PDT by highimpact (Abortion - [n]: human sacrifice at the altar of convenience.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I worked for guy once in west Texas whose name was Seth Pool.


82 posted on 03/23/2008 10:28:43 AM PDT by xJones
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To: skeptoid

My Dad went to school with a family named Butt. They for some reason decided to name two of their kids Harry and Rosy.

And let’s not forget the famous Major Major Major Major from Catch-22.


83 posted on 03/23/2008 10:32:30 AM PDT by Sherman Logan (Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. - A. Lincoln)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Just yesterday CNN introduced us to a woman in her sixties named Dorothy Comm.

She was known as Dot Comm long before algore invented that thing.


84 posted on 03/23/2008 10:35:33 AM PDT by Petronski (Nice job, Hillary. Now go home and get your shine box.)
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To: Petronski

I have a friend named Irish Spring.

Despite what his parents told him, the soap was around before he was born (had just entered national distribution).

Really a great guy (and might even be a freeper)


85 posted on 03/23/2008 10:53:53 AM PDT by JosephW (Mohammad Lied, People die!)
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To: JosephW

I knew a guy growing up named “Tom Assalone” but everyone called him Lemi.


86 posted on 03/23/2008 10:58:28 AM PDT by Petronski (Nice job, Hillary. Now go home and get your shine box.)
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To: dighton
There are two books by John Train that compile about 300 of these names . . . all documented.

. . . my personal favorites are Eucalyptus Yoho and Cashmere Tango Obedience. That and Immaculate Conception Finkelstein.

Locally, I clipped and put into the back of one of Train's books an obituary for a man named Numerous Odorus Marcus, of Tiger, GA.

87 posted on 03/23/2008 10:58:42 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: AnAmericanMother

I think Chocolate Yoho would have been worse.


88 posted on 03/23/2008 10:59:54 AM PDT by Petronski (Nice job, Hillary. Now go home and get your shine box.)
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To: Petronski
No question.


89 posted on 03/23/2008 11:11:14 AM PDT by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: Slings and Arrows

I wonder how “Clover Field” feels about the fact that he or she now shares a name with a monster?

I knew two girls named Summer and Autumn once, and their brother’s name was Winter. It actually was not too bad for parents doing the ‘puppy names’ thing (where you name your kids cutesy/themed names that are best suited to a litter of puppies) with their kids. I also met a girl named ‘Portia’ (after a character from a play - I forget whether it was Shakespeare or a Greek play) once, and everyone assumed her name was spelled ‘Porsche’.


90 posted on 03/23/2008 1:19:23 PM PDT by Hyzenthlay (I aim to misbehave.)
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To: Keith in Iowa

Thanks for the explanation.


91 posted on 03/23/2008 3:53:15 PM PDT by kalee (The offenses we give, we write in the dust; Those we take, we write in marble. JHuett)
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To: stlnative
I once knew a gal named Anita Pigg.

I once knew a gal named Katrina Fuchs (they pronounced it "Fox")

Unfortunately, she had another younger sister or two.

No matter what the first name, one just cannot overcome the last.

Roll call all the way through school was highly entertaining as the instructors struggled with what to say.

By the time we got to High School, practically the whole class yelled out "FOX!" whenever the instructor called out "Katrina................Ummmmmmmmm...".

92 posted on 03/23/2008 6:18:01 PM PDT by elkfersupper
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To: Slings and Arrows
I went to high school with a Michael Hunt.

He actually went by Mike, though.

93 posted on 03/23/2008 6:37:52 PM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Here’s that list of phone gag names from The Simpsons. Some of these may not have been on The Simpsons, but are included because they’re similar. For those who haven’t seen it, traditionally Bart calls Moe’s Tavern (or sends a telegram in one instance), Moe answers the phone, and Bart pages a person. Moe makes an ass of himself calling for the person to come to the phone, and then Moe delivers a colorful threat to Bart, while Bart laughs. An example would be...

(Moe answers the phone at the bar.)
Moe (to phone): Hey, just a sec, I’ll check.
Moe (to everyone): Amanda Huggenkiss. Hey, I’m looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Why can’t I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney (drunk at bar): Maybe your standards are too high?
Moe (to phone): You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I’m going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!

The rest...

Hugh Jass. Hey, I wanna Hugh Jass. Oh, somebody check the men’s roon for a Hugh Jass.
Hey Magroin!! Pat Magroin!!
Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Phone for McCrackin, Phil McCrackin!!
Is anyone here Wayne King?
Isabelle Ringing? Hey, Isabelle Ringing?
Everyone put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle!
Is a Bath here? Guys! Guys! Anita Bath!
Klosoff Wanted? Can I have Oliver Klosoff?
Bea O’Problem! Bea O’Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O’Problem here?
Butts! Butts! I wana Seymour Butts!!
Is Daily Here? Oy!! I.P Daily!!
Say Magroin!! Who’s Holden Magroin
Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?
Pidass please! A Stu Pidass is wanted on the phone!! Are you a Stu Pidass?
Jacques Strap! Hey, guys, I am looking for a Jacques Strap!
Telegram for Heywood U. Cuddleme! Heywood U. Cuddleme? Big guy in the back, Heywood U. Cuddleme?
Hey everyone look, Ollie Tabooger!
Eura Snotball?
Hey everyone, Maya Buttreeks!
Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on, one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual!
Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!

A few other angry replies (once the target figures out it’s a crank call) have been interesting...

-If I find out who this is, I’ll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!
-When I catch you, I’m gonna pull out your eyes and stick ‘em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I’m gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!
-I’m gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific!

-—END


94 posted on 03/23/2008 7:50:33 PM PDT by MarineBrat (My wife and I took an AIDS vaccination that the Church offers.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

This is true-—Harry Reeher—What were they thinking?? Born in the late 1800s I believe- was a real estate agent. Great Oregon pioneer family.


95 posted on 03/23/2008 7:54:21 PM PDT by oregon conservative
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To: Slings and Arrows
I went to school with Merry Christmas...I always thought that was kinda cool. She didn't seem to mind either. Rocky Rhodes was also a classmate.

My ex-neice, married last name is Plane (not sure of spelling, she is an ex);anyway...her daughter's middle name is "Arrow". So...she's (whatever her first name is) Arrow Plane. Strange.

96 posted on 03/23/2008 8:08:01 PM PDT by zlala ("History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or timid." -Dwight D. Eisenhower)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Purdy Outhouse and Santa Clause (female) live near me. She married into that last name.


97 posted on 03/23/2008 10:08:00 PM PDT by ntnychik
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance; Monkey Face; AdmSmith; Berosus; Convert from ECUSA; dervish; ...

Luoung Phat Duong.


98 posted on 03/23/2008 10:09:35 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/______________________Profile updated Saturday, March 1, 2008)
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To: SunkenCiv

I once knew someone named “Cookie Crumb.”


99 posted on 03/23/2008 10:13:58 PM PDT by LucyT (Sixteen years and four election cycles later, Hillary’s still here.)
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To: LucyT

and I think everyone knows someone named Candy Cain. :’)


100 posted on 03/23/2008 10:18:09 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/______________________Profile updated Saturday, March 1, 2008)
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