****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

Spring break—that’s when kids work on their tans and teachers work on their sanity.

Spring break—that’s when kids go wild someplace other than school.

Spring break is when the only thing kids study is each other.

The college kids call it spring "break." Their parents, however, call it spring "broke."

Spring break is when teenagers give their swimsuits a dry run.

Spring break—that’s when students take time off from football games, basketball games, dances, parties, and hanging out in bars, and go to Florida and relax.

Thousands of college kids head south to vacation on a shoestring. Or at least that's what they wear on the beach.

Spring break is that annual ritual when college kids flock to the beach, get drunk, and try to swim upstream.

Spring break is when the nation's college kids demonstrate to the world how much they've learned.

Spring break is when the nation's breweries go all out to teach another generation how to throw up responsibly.

Seven Degrees of Blonde

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up. The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmm, this person looks familiar.” The second blonde says, “Here, let me see!” So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, “You dummy, it’s me!”

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!!” The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, “Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.” A friend says, “OK, what’s the capital of Wisconsin ?” The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy: W.”

FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? .... “Is it mine?”

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, “That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware “

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? ...They send me a BLIND policeman.”

A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Hillary fans. Not really knowing what a Hillary fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised theirhands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...Again.

Little Johnny says, ‘Because I’m not a Hillary fan.’

The teacher says, ‘Why aren’t you a Hillary fan?’

Johnny says, ‘Because I’m a Republican.’

The teacher asks him why he’s a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, ‘Well, my mom’s a Republican and my dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican’

The teacher asks, ‘If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?’

With a big smile, Little Johnny replies, ‘That would make me a Hillary fan.’

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