For many, it's SPRING BREAK (or soon to be)...
Posted on 03/07/2008 4:50:15 AM PST by Lucky9teen
For many, it's SPRING BREAK (or soon to be)...
Spring break—that’s when kids work on their tans and teachers work on their sanity.
Spring break—that’s when kids go wild someplace other than school.
Spring break is when the only thing kids study is each other.
The college kids call it spring "break." Their parents, however, call it spring "broke."
Spring break is when teenagers give their swimsuits a dry run.
Spring break—that’s when students take time off from football games, basketball games, dances, parties, and hanging out in bars, and go to Florida and relax.
Thousands of college kids head south to vacation on a shoestring. Or at least that's what they wear on the beach.
Spring break is that annual ritual when college kids flock to the beach, get drunk, and try to swim upstream.
Spring break is when the nation's college kids demonstrate to the world how much they've learned.
Spring break is when the nation's breweries go all out to teach another generation how to throw up responsibly.
Are you suggesting that sometimes, violence IS the answer?
Well, are ya? ...
Thanks Mom. Or is it Dad? :-)
mom ;)
For those who slept through World History 101...... here is a condensed version.
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man. These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history.......
It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more liberals...just to piss them off.
Have a great day!
| You Are Most Like Ronald Reagan |
 But even if people do disagree with you, they still fall victim to your charms! |
Is that Soju?! LOL!
So, these two dyslexics walk into a bra...
I can’t believe I read the whole thing!
| You Are Most Like George W. Bush |
 And while you may be quite conservative now, you knew how to party back in the day! |
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