[Kathy in Alaska]

Look at you, Juverna MacMahon, all dressed in green.

[Lady Jag]

Aye, the part of Irish that's in me comes out entirely this week! And I wish the same for you!

But oi've got some terrible news!

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'