13 Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. 14 You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell. (Proverbs 23:13-14)
When our children were small, I thought about how different children were a hundred years ago compared to today - how the pathologies that kids have now just did not exist long ago and it occurred to me that the two major differences between then and now were that, for the most part, parents stayed together and did not divorce for frivolous reasons and parents disciplined their children from an early age, with spanking if necessary, and did not tolerate bad behavior and did not justify it.
All three of our kids were spanked when they were little, and it was only after willful disobedience and bad behavior. After the spanking, they were hugged and told that they were loved and were made to admit that the punishment was due to their own behavior so that, in their own minds, they could never assign blame to anyone but themselves.
My children are now grown. I have never had any problems with rebellion, my kids are leaders, not followers, they are emotionally and psychologically healthy and happy, are productive members of society, and suffer no ill-effects whatsoever from the fact that, at a young age, they were taught by people who love them that bad behavior brings bad consequences.
The problems that kids of today have are not because of spanking but because the parents of these kids do not have the sense of responsibility to their children and society it takes to raise their children to be decent people and respect others and authority. It's easy to just let your kids run wild, defy you as a parent, and do whatever they please. It's difficult and exhausting to take the time to shape and mold your children into civilized human beings.
I see, all the time, appalling displays of small children screaming at their parents, refusing to obey, demanding toys and candy at the store- and through it all, the parent baby-talks the child and ends up caving in to the tantrums and demands. This is the sort of irresponsibility on the part of parents that produces emotional and behavior problems in children- not discipline and not spanking.
Who would you rather run into in a alley late at night? A group of sixteen-year olds who have been spanked and taught right from wrong and who know that the universe does not revolve around them, or a group of sixteen-year-olds who have been indulged and never disciplined and given the message that they are special little angels who can never do any wrong?
Thank you for that.