17 years ago when I had my first child and 11 months later my second came along. My husband and I were on our own, we did not live near any family. While pregnant and just after the birth of my son I thought I would be the enlightned parent and read all the books and magazines. My boys were never going to be spanked and they would not watch violent shows like the Power Rangers Then came toddlerhood. Time out? For my oldest that was a joke. He’d do whatever he wanted and then put himself in time out. While they didn’t watch the Power Rangers, they were alway physical. As time went by, I quit listening and reading about what these “psychologist” and “parenting experts” had to say and just used common sense. Did I spank? I could NEVER beat a child but a few swats on the behind, heck yeah. They are now typical teenagers but by typical I mean that in a good way. They have great peer relationships, are polite and respectful to others, they are not morose and angry like I see some of the kids around. And we as a family have a great relationship, they’ve never rebelled in any “I’ll show you” way.
I hate that I went on and on about this but I think most of these studies are stupid and cast doubts in parents minds. As parents you need to be consistant and make the boundries pretty clear. Most people are not child abusers, these spanking article really don’t apply to them. They are in a class by themselves, with serious mental problems. These articles are aimed towards the good parents. Common sense is the best parenting approach. You know your kids better than anyone.
Absolutely right—my son is a tougher case and we’ve yelled at him and spanked him on occasion. He’s the oldest by 2.5 years.
My daughter is a gentle child and has never been spanked and we’ve only slightly raised our voices to her a couple of times. She’s easy and very well behaved without being meek or mousy. She’s not “perfect” but responds well to talking and explaining why we want a certain behavior or procedure.
It’s all about what works for that particular child.
Of course, she’ll probably give us more trouble as a teen!!!