[the OlLine Rebel]

Personally, I don’t like the caution against “lashing out in anger”, or however you want to phrase it.

I think it’s psychotic if you lash out when you’re happy, or too calm, or whatever. Physical punishment should be coupled and identified with the “anger”. What’s wrong with being angry? It makes more sense. When the parent shows anger, the kid knows now to stop before it goes to the physical.

And don’t hand the nonsense that you’re more likely to be “abusive” if you’re angry. More likely, maybe, but still very small % chance of being truly abusive as to not count.

As for remembering? I remember only being spanked once. I know I was hit when a toddler, which I simply cannot remember as a matter of course, because I was told so. They almost never needed to hit me because the message got through. I got a few more “tongue-lashings” than I got spankings.

[EBH]

When one stifles discipline and then only responds by lashing out, this is a dangerous reaction. All the new age crap traps parents into this situation. That stress needs to go somewhere and parents like these don’t know how to handle it. So the child gets it two/three fold worse than if they had been using corporal punishment all along.

Hence their remorse for “lashing out.” They don’t know what parental anger is, they have been so sucked into the no violence model. Their anger, really rage, in the cases as described is misplaced.

Example: the day at the beach story. If the needed discipline had been enforced earlier in the day...most likely the out burst at the end of the day would not have happened. Instead the parenting style allowed for the build-up of stress in the parent.