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To: Soaring Feather

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

“Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.”

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE LADIES YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!


285 posted on 02/21/2008 10:23:03 PM PST by WayzataJOHNN ( Poetry is the jazz of words, laid down by a feeling soul.)
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To: WayzataJOHNN; Lady Jag; MEG33; HopeandGlory; Lost Dutchman; tomkow6; Kathy in Alaska; ...

Good morning everyone.


A couple of guys made from tape
hitching a ride -they're trying to escape
one pointing a finger in the direction to go
the other tape guy-well he doesn't know
his right hand from his left
sooooo, he go along for the ride
don'tcha just know!


It's snowing out now, trees are flocked in beautiful white.
A natural thing, yes it's all right!
I have no mountains to climb today
so I'll stay in and on my lovely, soft, warm couch,
and drift in and out of sleep
it's a wont for me today, to play and sleep
to dream of lofty dwellings made from clouds
and take a swing at daylight star gazin'
....and maybe sing out loud.

Soaring Feather

286 posted on 02/22/2008 4:17:37 AM PST by Soaring Feather (I soar- 'cause I can....)
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