Posted on 01/18/2008 4:59:39 AM PST by Lucky9teen
When : Always January 18th
Thesaurus Day celebrates the birthday of the author of Roget's Thesaurus. Peter Roget was born on this day in 1779.
The Thesaurus has been an invaluable reference book for hundreds of years. Students and writers use it to improve the quality of their literary work. Do you remember how the book works? After High School, many of us forget. So, you're in good company. The Thesaurus lists synonyms (words with the same or similar meaning) for words. It allows you to avoid repetition in writing and speeches. It also lists antonyms...words with opposite meaning.
Enjoy today appreciating the value of the Thesaurus. If you haven't seen it in a while, take a moment to browse through it.
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Origin of Thesaurus Day:
We know that Thesaurus Day was created to honor Peter Roget, the author of Roget's Thesaurus. We fully expected to find a book company, or the folks at thesaurus.com to claim to be the originators. However, we did not find the originator or the date of origin. Perhaps it was one of the millions of people who appreciate the value of this reference book.
MEN'S THESAURUS
"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: Why isn't dinner already on the table?
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: I have no idea how it works.
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD."
Means: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Means: The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Means: And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: What did you catch me at?
"I HEARD YOU."
Means: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Means: I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: No one will ever see us alive again.
And because it's longer...A Woman's Thesaurus
A man brought his retriever to the vet for some tests and had to pay a lab fee.
The concession stand at the circus had very good coffee. It was the greatest joe on earth.
Trust your calculator. It’s something to count on.
Did you hear about the fight at a local Laundromat? A washing machine beat the crap out of a diaper.
:-) Is there a word that translates into “vom” or perhaps “throwup”?
Yes! That makes me laugh...”Hey look! It’s barfing outside!”
“Let it barf, let it barf, let it barf...” LOL
Got this on email this morning — enjoy!
Top Ten Country Western Songs
10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine.
9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I
Woke Up With a Few.
8. If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me.
7. I’ve Missed You, But My Aim’s Improvin’.
6. Wouldn’t Take Her To A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared
She’d Win.
5. I’m So Miserable Without You It’s Like You’re Still
Here.
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him.
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger.
2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer.
And the Number One Country & Western song is...
1. It’s Hard To Kiss the Lips at Night That Chewed My
Ass Out All Day Long
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’.
bttt
And then he brought his feline in for a checkup and had to pay for a CAT scan.
I'm sure it's a doozy. ;-)
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore ...
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
5 She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
The #1 song -— lol....
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-Aggressive Disorder
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're really not my type.
4. Good evening officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight.
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
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