I am trying to envision the zoo that would fit into your safety parameters. Let’s see-
Defanged vipers-(they could actually BITE a zoo worker or something!
Large constrictors-(these shall be displayed in steel pipes with only their head and a 1 foot section of tail visible, for obvious reasons)
Elephants with shortened trunks-( the fact that they now resemble 4 ton pigs with floppy ears does not matter-they could grab a worker or taunting gangbanger with those as easily as a peanut)
Gators and crocs shall have their jaws wrapped in “safety orange” or “chartreuse” tape.- ( can’t be havin’ no gangbanger gumbo in the pond when the drunks hop the fence and fall in)
Bears— ( Little boy to Dad at bear display....gee, Daddy, he looks awfully small and does not move! what’s the tag in his ear for? what does “Stieff” mean, Dad?)
Meerkats-(will be sedated, they’re dangerously energetic)
Great Apes-( Apparently, these are allowed to roam free on grounds and taunt whatever they want-No change in policy)
Tigers-(These will henceforth be displayed in yellow and black warning colors that scream out-I AM A BIG BADASS CAT, IT’S BAD ENOUGH BEING LOCKED UP AND OGLED BY YOU WEAK LITTLE HAIRLESS CHUMPS-IF YOU GIVE ME THE CHANCE I WILL KILL YOU)
wait, they already are....
Tatiana was bred in captivity. She has never roamed a jungle. She was put in a box.
About 200 years ago, a Mr. Ward stuffed animals for display. We had a museum filled with various species in dioramas. It was exquisite. It was the right way!!